Monday, July 27, 2015

An open letter to Key & Peele

Hello Keegan-Michael and Jordan,

My name is Ian and I am a huge fan of Key & Peele. I was bummed to learn that you guys have decided to end your instant-classic show after an all-too-brief run on Comedy Central. I thought I’d let you guys know what your show has meant to me. Here to help me out is my anger translator, Spike.

HI, KEY AND PEELE. OR IS IT KEY AND/OR PEELE NOW?

I have loved your show since it stormed onto the air in 2012. It expertly blends satire and smarts with laugh-out-loud humor in a way few shows ever manage.

AND JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE I LIKE, IT HAS A SHORT SHELF LIFE! FLAMIN’ HOT POTATO CHIPS? AS INTERMITTENT AS THE MCRIB! SOUR CREAM AND ONION?!! ALWAYS ON THE SHELVES LIKE CRINKLY BAGS OF LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR!!

You say you’re leaving the show to pursue other endeavors, by which I assume you mean Hollywood. Many a talented actor has found great fame and fortune on that path.

YOU BETTER NOT BE LEAVING TO DO SHARKNADO 16 FOR THE PAYCHECK!

I’m sure that, given your comic sensibilities, you both will find considerable mainstream success.

THEY DISCONTINUED MY CAR AFTER THREE YEARS TOO! TURNED IT FROM A QUIRKY, CLASSIC ECONOTOASTER INTO A BLOATED SUV SO THEY COULD MAKE MORE MONEY! BECAUSE MURIKA!

I look forward to seeing what you guys have in store in your future projects.

FIRST STEPHEN COLBERT, THEN JON STEWART, AND NOW YOU TOO? WHAT IS IT ABOUT 2014-15 THAT’S JUST A RAPID SUCCESSION OF BRILLIANT, IRREPLACEABLE COMEDY GOING AWAY? I HOPE AT LEAST AMY SCHUMER WAITS UNTIL THE REVOLVING DOOR AT COMEDY CENTRAL STOPS SHOOTING OFF SPARKS TO PASS THROUGH!

I guess I can understand how putting on such a sketch show can become tiresome after a while, and perhaps prove stifling of other avenues of creativity. In any case, best of luck in your upcoming projects. Thanks for the laughs. I eagerly await seeing you guys again and I’ll miss your show.

I’LL MISS IT TOO.

Your friend,
I-A-un McCringleberry (AND SPIKE)

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