Saturday, June 06, 2015

Your completely unbiased, objective, nonpartisan guide to the UL-LSU Super Regional baseball series

Starting today, the Fighting Tigers of LSU will host the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana in an NCAA Super Regional three-game series. Here is what you need to know about this much-anticipated matchup:

• LSU is one of college baseball’s top-ranked and most storied programs. They have a winning tradition, a devoted fan base, top-notch coaching, phenomenally talented players and a massive athletic budget. So of course they’re here. They’re the college equivalent of Cobra Kai. 

A typical LSU mound conference.
UL, by comparison, is the cast of The Sandlot. Indeed, the Cajuns are the heroes in every sports movie ever made. You could take a Louisiana movie tax credit and film this series in Baton Rouge, in Alex Box Stadium, with all Baton Rouge extras, and they’d have to put on the vermilion and white and cheer as they flash “Geaux Cajuns” signs. Why? Because Major League, The Bad News Bears, The Mighty Ducks, We Are Marshall, The Karate Kid, Hoosiers, Rudy, Rocky, The Replacements, Cool Runnings and Necessary Roughness, that’s why. UL might be a small school compared to LSU, but everyone loves Smalls!

"Exzept for us. Ve must break you."
• Because of deep-seated politics, the LSU community refuses to refer to the Ragin’ Cajuns as “Louisiana” or even “UL.” This is because LSU is a FLAGSHIP school, which stands for Forgetting LSU A&M Gets Shortened Happily In Perpetuity.

• UL’s uniform: Britches for which they are allegedly too big. LSU’s unis: Big shoes to fill and even bigger headgear.

• LSU’s all-time greatest baseball coach’s name is Skip, which is something college kids do when they don’t want education. UL’s incumbent and most famed coach is named Tony, which is a prestigious award.

• LSU last reached the College World Series in 2013 and lost, which was a letdown. UL got there in 2000 and lost, and it was amazing.

• The firing of Les Miles will be called for at least once every seven innings. That is a given.

• If UL loses the series, Lafayette will nevertheless be impressed by their team’s ever-improving prowess in a variety of sports on the national stage. The Cajun Nation will then go home and boil crawfish and sing and dance in the streets, in preparation for pulling for LSU to go all the way in Omaha. If LSU falls, their fan base faces three dry months in Baton Rouge until the next Tiger sport, with little else to do but hang their heads in shame that Lafayette got the best of them. And be stuck in traffic. It's an unpretty picture. Which is why I almost want LSU to win. Almost.


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