If I had to pick my least-favorite Christmas song, it would be "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Everything about that song suggests the presence of a tuna-and-mayo Jell-O mold, floors made of asbestos and enough Lucky Strikes to give cancer cancer. And let's not forget the Grade-A creepo sex attorney who immediately objects to everything the woman says until she concedes to "just a cigarette more" and apparently another drink she can't identify. The song ends with her submission and concession that yes, it's cold outside, so the feminine will is not a thing. Ugh.
On the other hand, the melody is catchy. So after about the seventh time my local Christmas-music station played "Baby, It's Cold Outside" five times in an hour, I thought, "Can't someone change the lyrics so I can listen to this tune without needing to decontaminate afterward?"
Then help, as it so often does, came from the Duke boys.
Tom Wopat and John Schneider have released a new Christmas album, and one of the tracks is "Johnny It's Cold Outside." It's exactly what you'd expect — a Christmas miracle.