Saturday, November 01, 2014

Scary stories in five words

I looked in my wallet.

Cam's view of Saints defense.

"Hand In My Pocket." Looped.

"I am the future." — Quayle

For sale. My shoes. Worn.

Michael Jackson dancing Thriller. Tonight.

We actually are the world.

Contact on the eye. Where?

Halloween is your calmest day.

Your Internet grammar permanent record.

My ability to remember everything.

Mandatory Honey Boo Boo marathon.

Everything has turned into mayonnaise.

A world without Weird Al.

What if aspirin never happened?

"We need to talk" — Anyone

You must pick a poison.

Sentence: Car insurance commercials. Forever.

Black Friday. You're the doors.

Buried alive. Oxygen. Cellphone. Busey.

You feel all the bites.

You're dead and everyone's overjoyed.

You will never stop itching.

You only think you're loved.

Every bug you killed returns.

Edward Scissorhands is your doctor.

Your computer can judge you.

Your bullies: right after all.

Everyone is suddenly broken bicycles.

Flowers shoot fire when seen.

Sweet nothings all in AutoTune.

28th Amendment: Nonstop apocalyptic pontificating.

Puts on helmet. Feels NAILS!

Whiskers growing inside your skin.

Shyamalan's up to another twist.

Me, never stopping this topic.

It didn't stay in Vegas.

Vegetarians crash in a meat field.

Your LDL exceeds your I.Q.

People who think they're funny.

A veteran athlete's collective sweat.

Hours and hours of glowers.

Childhood favorite. Doesn't hold up.

That spam email: Legit. Imminent.

You can't ever touch pizza.

You peaked in high school.

Creditors are long past caring.

The hospice stocked plastic bags.

The weather never got better.

All too often, real life.

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