I don't care about food. At all.
Of course I eat, and there are foods that I truly enjoy and even look forward to eating. But plunk me in a conversation about cuisine and I'll wither. Show me the meal you chronicled on Instagram today and I'll shrug. It's not that I don't like food — in fact, I plan to eat some today — but my interest in the subject is limited mostly to its nutrition content, taste and when I can cram mealtime into my schedule.
Maybe this is because much of the joy of eating is the communal aspect, and I rarely eat with other people (when I do, I typically enjoy it more). But I felt the same way as a child surrounded by relatives, so there's more to it than that. It could be that because I'm such a picky eater and have gotten so much grief over it, that the subject causes me more discomfort than joy. Or perhaps it's just another subject, such as music, where I feel like my tastes are too common to be interesting.
"Yeah, I like pizza and '80s music. Bask in the profundity of that, why don't you?"
However, I do have a dirty secret. On a freezing January evening many years ago, I took a picture of my dinner before eating it.
|We all did dubious things in the sixties. That refers to 1996, right?|
Chalk it up to a brand-new camera and wanting to take more pictures than there being pictures to take. Or to being really hungry and my parents having cooked one of the few dishes of theirs that I devoured. Whatever it was, I fired off this snapshot for what I assume were all the right reasons, whereas habitual meal-snappers do it just to look cool and hipster and whatnot.
I share this photograph as a public service, because one day I'm going to run for office noting how I never took pictures of food, and someone (most likely a girlfriend or close relative) will dredge up this Kodak moment and scream, "LIAR!" And that would torpedo my campaign. So I'm getting it out in the open now.
And also so you know what helped fuel my sordid, sordid past. Spaghetti's got carbs and lycopenes, which are particularly suited to engaging in sordid pasts.