Monday, January 13, 2014

If everyone else ate fresh, would you do it too?

This past weekend, I went to Subway for a quick lunch. As you're probably aware because advertising pummels you, it's JanuANY there. That means ANY footlong is only $5. It's a great deal.

Here's the thing, though. 

I don't get footlongs when I go there, because I don't typically eat 12 inches of sandwich. I did back when I was working vigorous physical jobs at 17, but not these days. (And actually, the reason I stopped buying footlongs was because they slice them in half after making them, with a knife that's been in every other sandwich and is usually dripping with mayo and tuna — which I despise harder than anything else I despise except racism — whereas 6-inchers get sliced open at the beginning, though that doesn't stop some sandwich artists from folding my sandwich shut with the communal barfoknife for some reason. Yeah, I should never eat out. Anyway.)

The guy really tried to upsell me on the sandwich. I politely declined, and after he asked me why, I replied simply, "Because I don't need that much sandwich." I suppose I could have saved some for later, but it would have sat on my desk at work all night. Also, barfoknife.

"Everyone gets the footlong," he said, unaware of how I'm me and I never care about that.

"I'll bet," I said. "It's a good deal. I know I'm weird [for buying just what I need rather than by being driven by the perception of saving money]," I said with a chuckle.

It took him a while to ring me up. He said it was because he wasn't in the habit of ringing up 6-inchers. I felt special.

This isn't to single out Subway; I love the place. Everywhere I go, I'm bombarded by deals, and the personnel are often surprised when I don't roll with them. It's how people shop at the expense of how they actually should shop. And yet, if the sale culture changed, like it did briefly with JCPenney a while back, people erupt.

Fortunately, I've long past gotten used to being weird.

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