Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Guest columnists riff on recent scandals

A real president wouldn’t attract all these scandals

By Cort Rory
Disappointed intellectual

Impeach Obama!

There, I said it. And it gives me great pleasure to say so.

“Yo Cort,” you’re probably saying. “You’re pretty liberal. Why call for the president’s impeachment?”

Well first off, DON’T BOX ME IN LIKE THAT! Liberal, conservative, moderate, swing, apathetic ... they’re just labels, man. Labels that choke rational discourse! If you must call me anything, call me a THINKER. When a political issue arises, bet on me to weigh all sides of a situation before arriving at a conclusion. That’s what everyone should do, all the time. If they did, they’d be as disappointed as I am.

Speaking of disappointment ... Obama, man. OBAMA. Just his name makes me sick these days. The guy can do no right! Look at this week alone — Benghazi, the IRS, tapping the AP’s phones ... it’s a veritable scandal factory, and it all points straight to the president!

And even if it doesn’t, well, Obama’s the president. He should be on top of all that. If he isn’t, then he’s a terrible president who deserves impeachment.

A real president wouldn’t attract all these scandals. No wonder the Republicans can’t get anything done in Congress — they’re too busy outlining all the scandals! Maybe Obama shouldn’t be so scandal-prone. Maybe he should try being a leader for once. Good leaders steer clear of anything that might piss off the opposition.

And would it kill Obama to pass comprehensive health care reform in the form of a single-payer system? Can’t he extract us from Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea and Saudi Arabia? Won’t he stop the drones? Can’t he burn the Patriot Act this afternoon? I swear, it’s like the man doesn’t realize what powers he has.

When I voted for Obama in 2008, I wanted change. Like millions of Americans, I was tired of the unitary executive abuse put forth by George W. Bush. I wanted a leader who knew when to hold, when to fold and when to compromise. I knew I’d never get what he (or I) wanted 100 percent of the time, and I knew that the GOP would obstruct Obama every step of the way. Still, I held out hope.

It turned out exactly as I hoped. And I’m disappointed.

Guess I’ll be voting Republican from here on out. At least I’ll expect the disappointment then.

I'm not voting for the IRS in 2016

By Earl “Clem” Bob
Tea party contributor

The new IRS scandal makes me mad. And that makes me happy.

Now Ol’ Clem ain’t an expert on taxes, but I know that I hate payin’ them. Every year, I gotta fill out that complicated form with all the credits and deductions and whatnot that I don’t understand. That’s on top of the sales tax I pay all year round on my groceries, my gas and my ammo! Then at tax time, after all that money I paid in from my paycheck all year long, I only get back about $800 of it! Now tell me, is that highway robbery or what? There really ought to be some way of easing the tax burden on hard-workin’ people like me and Donald Trump. But nooooo. The Democrats give all our tax money to the freeloaders who spend it on spinning rims, gold teeth and AK-47s! So that they vote Democrat!

No, I ain’t racist. But I am fed up with both parties, especially the Democrats.

The IRS was bad enough before, but now they’re targeting patriotic organizations. How un-American is that? From what I understand, there was this e-mail that told IRS employees to stick it to the conservatives, especially in the Tea Party. And every organization that had names like “Taxed Enough Already” really got it stuck to. And as a result, all of these organizations have secret IRS spy-goons inside them, making sure the victimized groups pay taxes five or six times, just because they love America.

That’s what I heard, anyway.

In my America, a patriotic group should be able to do anything they want. No one, least of all the IRS, should question their tax status and related political activities. Those groups love America, the land of the free! What do they have to hide?

I worry that the big, bad federal government has become way too bloated and big for its britches. In the past decade, we’ve seen a unprecedented surge in bureaucracy and uncountable threats to our civil liberties. And that’s been a really disturbing development since 2009. All I know is this: come 2016, the IRS ain’t gettin’ my vote.
 America must return to its roots, when the People were free to do anything in the name of patriotism. Anything less is an insult to our nation’s legacy.

The IRS should crack down on Greenpeace.

No comments: