Tuesday, March 12, 2013

3 a.m. thoughts

• When I was very little, I thought my dad's real name was Daddy. And I thought this knowing full well that everyone else's fathers had real names; my dad just happened to have Daddy as his real name. When I learned otherwise, I believed his name was the one he used on the radio, which didn't end in McGibboney. I guess I figured that they made up that name just in time to give my brother and I something tough to spell. Also, I objected to my brother sharing my last name because I thought everyone in the world had a unique name.

• I think auto dealerships should have store brands for discount cars, just like supermarkets carry store-brand products. You know, Driver's Choice, Valu-Vehicle, Sav-SUV, Costler, Af-Ford, Cheaprolet, Best Beast, General Foods International Cars (Compare to General Motors), etc.

• I want to work. Like, badly.

• But not badly enough to latch onto your pyramid scheme, so please stop asking. I'm broke, not gullible.

• I like washing other people's cars because they're always way dirtier than mine and I feel a greater sense of accomplishment as a result. I hate washing other people's cars because I always wind up doing it every time I say something like this.

• It's almost 4 a.m. as I get ready to post this, threatening to negate the title. But since it's newly Daylight Saving Time, it still feels like 3, so I'm sticking with it. Even if it's weirdly felt like we gained an hour. I've been off for two days now. I woke up from a nap at 6:30 p.m. and it was still daylight out. That really messed with my head.

• And yes, it's Daylight Saving Time, not "savings." At least according to official sources that no one knows about.

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