Thursday, December 27, 2012

Today's lessons in parenting

1) If you have a 16-year-old son who receives "Blue Brees" bath salts as a Christmas present, maybe it's time to inquire about the people with which he hangs.

2) It's generally well-known that smoking bath salts has an effect on people that ranges from "not cool" to "face-eating crazy." The research is plentiful. So maybe don't let your teen smoke it. The results won't be any different.

3) The NFL tags licensed merchandise with holograms. Products endorsed by superstar athletes tend to have major advertising campaigns and are usually famous brands to begin with. Either way, the products won't be bath salts.

4) Even when someone does endorse something, that doesn't absolve you of your parental responsibilities. In the 1950s and 1960s, baseball players shilled cigarettes. Come on! If your son is too uneducated to realize that an unsanctioned, zombie Drew Brees doesn't make drugs safe, then it's on you to be the voice of reason and clarity. Which is apparently the problem to begin with.

5) I'd say you're too busy watching TV to raise your kid, but apparently not, because Brees is all over TV as a stable and positive influence. So, watch more TV, I guess.

6) Even if this was indeed Drew Brees' latest venture, who the hell wants to be him dead? He's so much cooler alive. Most people are. Let's keep it that way.

(I know, I know, I'm not a parent. Maybe I don't understand. One day.)


Kevin said...

Mom is "on a mission to protect other kids."

Reminds me of the people who "forget" their kids in the back of hot cars and then make it their mission to ensure the rest of us don't do so. News flash: WE DON'T. YOU DO.

Tom Alday said...
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