Monday, December 10, 2012

New Rules

Rule #223: Input Outrage

If your website insists I take a survey about user experience, at least let me spend more than a nanosecond on the site before you ask. Seriously. Even if I take the survey, all I'll be able to say is, "The survey splash ad works very well."

Rule #224: Selective Service

Anyone griping about the cost of security for the Obama family must provide proof that this also outraged them during past administrations. Security for any First Family is expensive, let alone for a president so uniquely and utterly hated by fanatics with firearms — who lately have been the most vocal about government spending. Gee.

Rule #225: Uncle Log's Cabin

Gay Republicans have to explain why.

Rule #226: Drag and Pony Show

No survey is needed to declare Baton Rouge one of the least LGBT-friendly cities in America. That city's hard enough for blacks, women and center-left white males, let alone gays and transsexuals. It's just not in the cards this year. Perhaps 2112?

Rule #227: Healthy Wealthy Wisdom

All rich people aren't bad — just the ones who want to make it harder for non-rich people to have a decent standard of living and/or wish to game the system in the spirit of, "I've got mine." Which is exactly what separates a rich man like Barack Obama from a rich man like Mitt Romney.

Rule #228: #badidea

Every single hashtag campaign on Twitter will backfire. Guaranteed.

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