Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Contributors weigh in on Election 2012

This mocking farce of an election has absolutely no impact on America

By Cort Rory
Reality-based non-sheep 
Not Right About Anything

So, Obama won. Whoop-de-doo.

The centrist corporate puppet beat the right-wing corporate puppet. Same puppet show, different day. And same puppet.

Obama is no different than Romney. I’m not at all glad he won. In fact, I’m angry. Democrats deserve to lose until they act like Democrats. How are they going to learn if the sheeple keep electing them?

That goes for all the races, by the way. Nothing but tainted faces all around. Meet the new boss; same as the old boss.

I didn’t think Mitt Romney had a chance, so I was going to vote for him just to make a statement. Except I didn’t get to vote yesterday. Because, eh, I was tired. It doesn’t matter anyway.

The upshot is that I have more right to complain than the rest of you who wasted your time voting. You took part in the system. You have no right to complain. But I can complain. And I will for the next four years.

You pathetic sheep.

Well, there’s always 2016. Though that election’s probably already bought too.

Sigh. This country’s screwed.

What in thunderin' tarnation?!!

By Earl “Clem” Bob
Tea Party Contributor 
Not Right About Anything

I can’t believe it!

Obama won? What the hell?!!

I didn’t see one single indicator all election season that suggested anything other than a Romney landslide! Even when Obama won Pennsylvania and Ohio, I figured Romney would win every electoral and citizen vote in the nation from there on out.

This ain’t right.

Voters are fed up with both parties, especially the Democrats. Everyone I know planted Romney-Ryan yard signs in front of their trailers, and every Fox show I watched and every Breitbart article I read said that Obama was in trouble. Two of my favorite celebrities, Donald Trump and Victoria Jackson, agreed. And they’re famous!

There can only be one reason that Obama captured so many votes in spite of everything — the Black Panthers! Also, people are watching the wrong shows and reading the wrong articles. They get the idea that Obama’s got a chance, and they go out there and vote to make sure he wins. This propaganda barrage has got to stop! It’s interfering with the truth, which is what I know.

A lot of tea party candidates also went down. I blame the liberal media. You could say they RAPED them! (That joke copyright Clem.) Clearly, the problem was that the tea party candidates weren’t true to their principles and were too far left to try to get elected. Also, they talked about rape a lot. They gotta remember to keep that to themselves next time around.

Consider that there lesson learned for 2014 and 2016. Look out, liberals! Our comeback has just begun!

2 comments:

GDad said...

One of my favorite lines from the Indiana Jones movies is, "Archaeology is the search for facts - not truth. If it's truth you're looking for, Dr. Tyree's philosophy class is right down the hall." I always feel like the lower-information citizens out there have a firm grasp of a truth, but have a sparse larder of facts.

Ian McGibboney said...

Well said, and one of my favorite movies to boot!