Wednesday, September 05, 2012

This is the worst convention in the history of ever

By Cort Rory
Reality-based non-sheep here to expose the TRUTH

Are you watching this convention? Worst. One. Ever.

Man.

I don’t see what the hoopla is all about. Conventions are pathetic. In addition to being outdated, they’re just big love-fests wherein political parties put their best faces on and their best feet forward. Watching this Democratic convention, with speaker after speaker spewing puff speech after puff speech, I wonder what the hell the point is.

Seriously, why have these things at all? All they do is trot out people who mention all the positive things going on and nominate their candidate and stuff. And we get to meet future party stars who are just going to let us down as soon as they get big, sell out and become the latest whores of betrayal.

It’s such a train wreck to watch for hours on end.

I expected as much of the Republican National Convention. Those guys are fanatical leviathans. But the Democrats. Man. Not only are they not better, they’re infinity times worse. The Democrats are an awful, awful party, and Barack Obama is doing terrible, terrible things. Indeed, he may be the worst POS ever to sit in the Oval Office. Much worse than Nixon, Reagan, Bush and Buchanan. Hell, King George too. Combined!

If these donkeys (asses?) had any integrity, they’d spend these three days in Charlotte flagellating themselves with whips, apologizing to voters and resigning. Every last turncoat one of them. Though it’d look like the Republicans bent them over if they did that. And that would just be pathetic.

As it is, the saccharine content of these speeches is giving me mind cancer. All I could think of during Michelle Obama’s speech last night was, “What about those unmanned drones or that kill list? Or the Patriot Act? Or the indefinite detentions?” Is it too much to ask that the first lady acknowledge these topics?

This stuff is important to me. You guys work for me! Hello? Over here!

I hope Bill Clinton focuses his speech tonight on how sorry he is for bombing that aspirin factory. If not, he has even less integrity than he already has. Which is none. Just like Obama.

Ugh, Obama. I swear, if he doesn’t give a shout-out to my friend’s sustainable-energy project in rural Oregon tomorrow night, that’s it for me. I’m going to hold my nose extra hard when I vote for him in November.

I pity you people and your rose-colored eyes. That’s got to be a terrible way to go through life.

Cort Rory is a guest blogger. He gets what the rest of us don't, man.

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