Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Spam de spam, wonderful spam...

Why yes, random spammer with a foreign celebrity's name, I am very interested in reading your comment written in the kind of broken English that I visualize in my head during REM sleep! I love reading extended treatises with no rhyme or reason randomly infused with keywords and links to global shop solutions, online gaming and other things that would sound douchey even if I was in the same universe as looking for those things. I work very hard writing my entries just so I can live for the thrill of having these nonsensical sex toy East Asian celebrity poll C!al!s comments show up 19 times in 20 minutes across three blogs that apparently satisfied whatever search criteria your dead, soulless fingers typed out in some futile pursuit that you call an occupation.

Fortunately, Blogger at least now has a central page where I can enjoy the pleasure of marking all of these comments as spam in real time as they trickle in like that thick spit you expectorate before a particularly forceful projectile vomit. There's no way for me to nip all of your comments in the bud, but that's a small consolation at least.

Oh, look, you're back! Looks like I'll have to go back to blocking your spam until Google gets off its ass and acts on the report request I sent to Google+. Since I started this paragraph, you've spammed me twice. You keep hitting the same three blogs with various text. But hey, karma's a bitch. Even if nothing else happens to you, you're still the kind of person (or bot programmer) who makes a living spamming obscure bloggers on old blogs in a vain attempt to get idiots to see whatever Z-grade site for which you're a shill.

Three more spams. That's 22 now in the last 41 minutes. This is turning into a live blog. 

OK, gotta go. I can't think of any snarky send-off that wouldn't generate erectile-dysfunction-related keywords for you. But you know what's in my heart.

I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!

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