Monday, July 09, 2012

Racist 'not a racist'

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Calling for “good people to take our country back from the Kenyan usurper in office and everyone who voted for him,” local white racist Chad Cavanaugh said Monday that he is not a racist.

The 62-year-old made the comment during an impromptu interview at a tea party rally, where he walked up to a reporter and introduced himself as “Non-racist Chad.” Carrying a sign that said, “End Obama’s slavery in 2102 [sic],” Cavanaugh denied that the sign carried racial undertones, insisting instead that it refers to economic slavery.

“It’s as if there are two Americas: one full of people who work hard, and one where everyone’s on welfare,” he said. “I’m tired of my tax money going toward people who’d rather sit at home and watch Maury tell men they ain’t the baby daddy. That hits me in a very sensitive place — my pocketbook.”

Cavanaugh suggested that the nation should take cues from past prosperity as a way to rebound. “In the years following WWII, America used to be a powerhouse,” he said. “Back then, neighborhoods were safer. Everything was cleaner. You knew who the bad guys were. Everyone knew their place. And political correctness wasn’t yet a thing; you could say whatever you wanted.

“But then ’64 rolled around and Lyndon Johnson screwed everything up with that, you know, that act of his.” Asked to clarify, he replied, “The War on Poverty. It put us on the road to socialism. We’ve been paying for it ever since, especially for the past three years. Having Barack Obama in office proves how far we’ve fallen since the dark days of 1964.

Cavanaugh said his opposition to President Obama arises from numerous factors, none of which involve race in the slightest. “For one thing, he might be from Kenya,” he said. “It’s important that our presidents are American in accordance with the Constitution. Second, I don’t like his appointees. Eric Holder? Sonia Sotomayor? Susan Rice? Lisa P. Jackson? I can’t tell any of them apart. Because they’re liberals. And like I said, there’s all those people Obama gives government checks to so they’ll gladly tip their 40s at the polls. That’s just pandering.

“I don’t care if he’s black, white, green, yellow or purple,” Cavanaugh concluded. “We don’t need a food stamp president.”

Further disavowing any animosity toward minorities, Cavanaugh said he admires Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. “He’s proof they aren’t all bad,” he said.


Anonymous said...

Yep, not a racist at all. I bet some of his best friends get welfare, not their kind, but its still welfare. Funny how the worst ones have to work hard to expand their horizons past run of the mill negroes, it's just so hard to include the yellows and the browns.

Ian McGibboney said...

Can you clarify that last sentence? I'm not clear on what you mean there.