Monday, July 09, 2012

New Rules

Rule #213: Mud Flap

People into the “country” lifestyle must stop being so defensive about it. It’s almost as if sneering defiance is as much a part of it as huntin’, fishin’, ropin’, ridin’, drinkin’, muddin’ and country music. As urban and liberal as I am, I can see the attraction of those things, even if some of them are stupid (as many fun things tend to be). But defining your country persona by how superior and/or persecuted you are, well, that’s every bit as telling as your huge mud truck.

Rule #213-B: You Lost. Get Over It.

Stop arguing about Ford vs. Chevy. Toyota won.

Rule #214: Her Solemn Voucher

The definition of religion isn’t “yours.” Recently, Louisiana state Rep. Valarie Hodges expressed dismay when she found out that the new school-voucher legislation (for which she voted) could be used to fund Muslim schools. She said she supported the teaching of Christianity in schools, which apparently is why she voted for it. (At least Bobby Jindal pretended this was something other than a windfall for religious schools.)

But the best part of this isn’t that Hodges exposed what, if not the main motivation behind this legislation, is one of its biggest elephants in the room — it’s that she didn’t consider the broader implications of her evangelical fervor. In "I Am America (And So Can You!)," Stephen Colbert joked that the shorthand for the Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church is “church.” Does that even count as a joke anymore when jokers are saying this for real?

Rule #215: Over, Share

When you ask, “Can I share a little bit of my faith with you?,” you already are. You’re telling me that your faith, rather than serving as a deeply personal guidepost, is something you impress upon total strangers in a transparent bid to convert me without regard for my morals and feelings. So, no.

If sharing your faith is your goal, then live your life in a way that makes yourself an example to follow. Help someone out in a time of need. Be a fair and loving person. Don’t make it all about you. That will get attention.

No comments: