It never ceases to amaze me how many people dwell on what should be remote, last-resort situations, such as self-defense or the apocalypse. When I hear a guy say, "In [extremely unlikely hypothetical situation], you bet I'll kick his ass," I hear the blustery cry of insecurity. When I hear someone panicking that we're in our final days, I hear the cries of someone eager to live in a bunker and live out the plot of Hunger Games Beyond Thunderdome.
Nevertheless, this is a rich market for tapping. Which is why I'm unveiling my new First Resort product line. In an uncertain world, you never know what life is going to throw at you. This gear will show not only that you are always dreaming up new scary scenarios, but that you'll do the right thing in all of them. This makes you a better person.