Saturday, May 26, 2012

Your ruler

Rule #210: Not this all over again
When Yogi Berra said, "It's deja vu all over again," he was being funny because that's a redundant thing to say. He didn't mean that you could never say "deja vu" without "all over again" ever again. Every time I hear that it's just like ... the last time I heard it.

Rule #211: Elbowing off the table
I've got to learn, as a left-handed man, to not sit next to right-handers at the dining table. Or anywhere else.

Rule #212: Not right about ... some things
Right-handed people have to stop telling me to just deal with it. Being left-handed is the exact opposite of being right-handed. Telling me to reverse how my brain is wired is like telling someone at risk of cancer to not get cancer. It's pointless. I'm lucky I actually do many things right-handed, like use scissors, play a guitar and fire a squirt gun, because I don't know how full-on left-handers handle that.

The fact is that this is a right-hander's world. We lefties know that. It's not a small thing, either; I've scalded myself on a french-fry scoop made for right-handed use, and struggled with a weapons drill because my spatial sense is often a mirror. We do what we can. Don't mock or trivialize us for it. Write a mile in my shoes and you'll know what I mean.

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