Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Rulefest

Rule #203: Endorse a dark horse? Of course, of course

Rick Santorum endorses Mitt Romney? No shit? How about no more rote endorsements by ex-candidates instead?

Rule #204: Rays schism

Before igniting a race war, please settle on a skin color.


Rule #205: Torn between two types of lovers

Let’s concede that there are reasons two consenting adults should be denied a marriage license. Such as, one or both already have a valid license with someone else. Or, the consent was obtained at gunpoint and therefore isn’t really consent. Or ... that’s it, really.

Rule #206: Status symbolic

If you’re live-commenting about something, and it’s not obvious what, I will assume it’s a reality show. Because it always is.

Rule #207: D = Diploma

If 40 percent of West Virginia Democrats voting for some incarcerated felon instead of Obama for president proves anything, it’s how insignificant most state primaries are. We’re talking about a conservative, coal-mining state with one of the lowest literacy rates in the country — 60 percent of the party vote is actually pretty good. It’s a passing grade. And to use Rachel Maddow’s football analogy from 2008, West Virginia is on the GOP 1-yard line. Democrats are as worried about losing West Virginia as Roger Goodell is worried about losing Louisiana as a fan base. Is there a term for less than not at all?

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