Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Mitt's awk words

There's something oddly appropriate about Mitt Romney explaining his appeal to youth through a conference call (to older reporters, no less). It's one of those things that's magnified by all the other ways he's been clueless in reaching out to voters. Here are some other ways I imagine Romney will laser in on key demographics in 2012:

An Osmonds concert to court the NAACP;

A $2,000-a-plate dinner to reach out to the middle class;

A bicycle-awareness motorcade;

Occupying Wall Street at the fabulous Downtown Marriott;

Courting young activists with a rousing rendition of "Hippy Hippy Shake";

Appealing to young, hip conservatives as if they're a thing;

At midday on a college campus, coordinating a flash seminar;

Giving his stump speech when the barista's just trying to make his smoothie already;

Attempting to show his fun side by appearing on a late-night TV infomercial;

Throwing out the first pitch at a Nuggets game;

During a speech on student loans, having his kids ask him for money;

At an unemployment agency, hiring a bunch of people to shine his shoes;

Flying over Detroit in a private jet to see how bad it is;

Riding in a yacht past New Orleans and remarking, "I see you all down there!";

A stop at a San Francisco bar to debut his "And I'm a Mormon" video;

Come to think of it, any religious-right function to debut that video;

Appearing on BET and moving any muscle at all;

Telling older tea party voters that it's either him or Barack Obama, in a way that makes them want Obama

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