Sunday, November 27, 2011

Updating conventional wisdom

Today's words of wisdom: "Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime."

Revised for 2011: Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. But he’ll get complacent and greedy, so don’t give him that fish. Instead, tell him that if he learns to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime. If he asks you to teach him, tell him it’s not your responsibility. If he asks where he can take a class, tell him to find out for himself. If he asks where he can obtain a fishing pole, tell him to buy one, because you certainly aren’t going to subsidize it. If he says that budgets have been slashed for public fishing lessons, assure him that he can find a friend, charity or church to help him. If he has alienated all his friends, charities are underfunded and no church will touch him, that’s his problem. If he does somehow surmount the odds, learns to fish and begins to catch enough to get by, make sure that he isn’t cheating the system. After all, why should you, as a successful fisherman, assume the burden? What would your incentive to fish be then? It’s only fair. If he has a problem with it, maybe he should just become successful too instead of bothering with this hunger nonsense. Hunger is simply a crutch for screwups. If you help hungry people, what kind of lesson will they learn? Certainly not one that lasts a lifetime.

2 comments:

Ace said...

What happened to your oh so funny FaceBook post regarding the same topic? Please expand on that.

Remember: "...but he'll get sick of fish so you should probably teach him to go to the store too"

Ian McGibboney said...

That one works as well!