Yesterday, I got a Louisiana driver's license for the first time in four years. The last one I had was four years old and about to expire when I moved to Missouri, so this new one is actually the first Louisiana license I've acquired in eight years. The passage of time is clearly evident in a side-by-side comparison of the respective photos.
• Much like the Earth itself, I'm producing less oil than I used to.
• They've since put an airbrush filter on the DMV camera.
• Nevertheless, the camera always adds 10 pounds of muscle, mostly to my neck.
• I manage to make almost identical facial expressions eight years apart, even though the license in between these looked completely different. Must be a state thing.
• I used to do way better with that digital signature thing. Come 2015, I'll be marking it with a scraggly X (which will look like a T, or a G).
• In 2003, I had a bad haircut. In 2011, I don't have a haircut at all.
• In 2003, I'm eager to take on all that the future has to offer. In 2011, I'm happy that all the future's had to offer hasn't scarred me on the outside as much as it has on the inside.
• I'm on a horse. No I'm not.