Monday, January 03, 2011

Not Right About Anything: The Best of 2010

In 2010, the Saints won the Super Bowl. The next day, I had jury duty. The day after that, my mom had potentially dangerous surgery on her colon. Ever have weeks like that? Well, for me, 2010 was pretty much an entire year of that. Ups and downs, highs and lows, dental copays and...well...eventually paying the rest of it as well.

I hurt my back, my ankles, my sinuses, my ears, had pinkeye and — just in time for Christmas — got a black eye and a near-concussion. And I chipped my tooth (on my laptop, no less) on New Year’s Eve. Also, the Republicans fed a wave of mildly informed anti-incumbent sentiment back to power for 2011. There was that, too.
For me, one of the truly great things about 2010 was my renewed passion for blogging. I also caved and started a Twitter account. Having a vocal, appreciative audience to go with both really helped. Thanks, you guys, and keep reading!

And now I present the Not Right About Anything Best of 2010!

My decade in life

I started out the year with this series of timelines from every year in the past decade. I stopped at 2006 because of time constraints, and then I realized that every year afterward was too boring for a timeline. So it’s more like my half-decade in life.

2000 (1/1) 2001 (1/3) 2002 (1/6) 2003 (1/9) 2004 (1/12) 2005 (1/14)

Meet the new bums. Same as the old bums.

Sarah Palin's roaming hand (2/9)
All the ways her hand notes were sad.
A post filled with unbridled passion (2/21)
Why can't I be as passionate about anything as the tea partiers are about government spending?
More on that damn billboard (2/23)
"Miss me yet?" No.
Hoax Hoax Hoax (3/1)
Arguments against global warming are often hot air.
A doctoral thesis on health care (3/23)
My reaction to the passing of health care reform, and my reactions to others' reactions.
I'm trying. What's your excuse? (4/5)
Being principled is hard, unless your principles serve only to rationalize greed and bigotry.
Louisiana, now would be a good time... (5/4)
My initial thoughts following the BP oil spill.
My hero of the day: Laura Bush...?!! (5/15)
When Laura Bush came out in sympathy of gay marriage, I respected her for it.
Missouri voters overwhelmingly passed Proposition C, which would exempt state residents from having to comply with the federal health care mandate. So much for the Constitution, frivolous lawsuits and out-of-control state spending, huh?
In anticipation of a Republican bloodbath, I wrote this on Election Day. My comment section promptly dashed all of my hopes, which wasn't all that unexpected.
My succinct reaction after the results were in.
With the new TSA airport regulations causing an uproar, especially after a video captured a child traumatized by the process, I offered something for parents to say beforehand.
Rule #164: Generation Gap Kids (12/14)
A plea to baby boomers: please stop telling us how much better you had it and how screwed we are. We know it's true and we know who's responsible.
I thought I was a cynic until I got on the Internet and met some genuine cynics.

Enter Earl "Clem" Bob, stage right

In 2010, I tapped loyal tea party member Earl "Clem" Bob to guest-blog on Not Right About Anything. His righteous political anger "at both parties, especially the Democrats" shined through on the printed e-mails he'd send via overnight mail. Clem will tell you he had a very good midterm year, and hopes that his various hardships will go away once Mitch McConnell and John Boehner assume power and end the government.

I speak for all Americans (5/27)
Well, he does, dontcha know!
Bumper stickler (8/10)
Clem gets static in his small town for his anti-Obama bumper sticker, which looks so much like a real Obama sticker that they think he turned all Commie and whatnot.
Fahrenheit 9/12 Project (9/9)
Clem gives his common-sense take on three current events that prove America is back, hoss!
Seein' a bright future ahead (11/8)
Clem gets glasses and a new focus on things. But don't worry, he ain't turnin' socialist or nothin'.
Forever young (until this year)
Only in my dreams (2/23)
There's this recurring dream that I have more often than any other (except maybe for the one where I have to renew my high school diploma and fail), and I describe it in as much excruciating detail as I can recall. It's become even more clear recently, with the unattainable objects sometimes taking the form of people crowding into a building. A tryout for something, perhaps?
What a concussion feels like (4/6)
Inspired by Esquire magazine's series "What it feels like," I chronicle a massive head injury I endured in 2000.
Thoughts on turning 30 (5/8)
My mind's telling me no. But my body, my body's telling me yes!
The hotter, the better (7/11)
A longer version of a short piece I wrote for the Springfield News-Leader.
Drilling into the core of my bedrock (7/25)
I got in a tense debate with some Lafayette friends on Facebook over the oil and gas industry. Just like old times!
I expect this to be more divisive than my political posts (8/22)
Inspired by a regular Onion AV Club feature, I talk about elements of pop culture that are super-popular but that I don't like or otherwise never got into.

Stuff that makes me feel old (8/30)
Old, meaning 30. An old 30.
A whole different ball of wax (9/22)
I lost hearing in my left ear and had to have both of my ears drained. Admit it. You're dying to read this.
To a doctor! Scat! (11/15)
Then I came down with pinkeye and everyone assumed I rubbed feces in my eye. Thanks, Knocked Up!

Stuff other people do and/or did

The 14 old friends you make on Facebook (10/16)
Everyone, and I mean everyone, you used to know falls into one or more of these categories.
Oh, fiddle-de-de, Hattie (11/24)
Why do people take off their hats in public? Some will say it's a sign of respect. I say it's silly. How disrespectful of me!
This isn't what they meant by "White Christmas" (12/3)
I have to write at least one parody song per year; a snowman shaped as a Klansman inspired this "Frosty" knockoff.
Another white trash, another white trash... (12/29)
This is what I get for trying to help. My bad.

Lombardi Gras 2010

The New Orleans Saints won Super Bowl XLIV! And in 2010, were poised for another playoff run. Wheee!! This group of posts came in the early part of the year, both before and after the Super Bowl.
Optimism time: Saints edition (1/10)
Ahead of the divisional playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals, I note some facts and trends working in the Saints' favor. My score prediction: 48-27, Saints. The Saints actually won 45-14. Close enough.
Welcome back, Saints (1/17)
A post-game analysis featuring several pictures of Kurt Warner looking like he's kissing other players.
Playing horseshoes (1/29)
No respect.
Any 17-15 win must be impressive if it includes #18 (1/30)
I compared every Colts score with every Saints score. The Saints came out on top in 13 of 18 contests. And yet, the Colts are supposed to have the better offense. No respect.
Football fans saw a lot of drinking games proposed for the Super Bowl. Mine was arguably the safest for livers all over America.
My non-New Orleans Mardi Gras experience (2/16)
One week after the Super Bowl, I visited Louisiana to help out my mom and enjoy my first Mardi Gras in four years. I shared some of the more suitable highlights.
No sudden death for sudden death (3/2)
New NFL OT rule fixes clearly broken playoff system (3/26)
I got into some pretty heated debates on Facebook about the NFL's proposal to change sudden-death overtime. I've always been against the idea. Some friends thought I was out of line to suggest that the NFL's final proposal was specifically a reaction to the Saints-Vikings game. But it totally was!
I saw Drew Brees last night (5/19)
I was in the same room as Drew Brees. It was a big ballroom, granted, but still. He acknowledged me, and I gave money to charity. Everybody won!

Sports (non-Saints)

2010 NFL preview (9/12)
I was right about the records for the Ravens, Redskins and, amazingly enough, the Lions. That's all.

This made Saints offensive lineman Jonathan Goodwin laugh his ass off.
Things I hate about college football (9/7)
But don't stop me from watching it.
Second chancers (12/28)
On Michael Vick, President Obama and redemption.

SOFA flag football

The Springfield Open Football Association (SOFA) is the name of a loose coalition of players who assemble every Sunday for flag football. It went strong throughout 2010. What didn’t go strong were the famed recaps, which remained very popular, but became increasingly hard for me to write as more and more new people showed up (and I got admittedly lazy from various burnouts.)

Jan. 17 recap (1/21)
Recaps for the past month (3/6)
March 7 recap (3/12)
Recap and successful April Fool's joke (4/2)
Any given Easter Sunday (4/10)
April 11 recap (4/17)
SOFA recap: Sterilization edition (4/21)
SOFA recap: "I touched him!" edition (5/1)
The power of perseverance or something (10/11)

From that last blog comes the most unfortunate photo of the year:

I bruised my knee. Honest.
Here are a couple of better snaps from the same time:

 And, for good measure, here's one that's even worse:

Christmas Crapbook

Holiday memories, 1980-91! Subject to revisionism.
1980 (12/7) 1981 (12/9) 1982 (12/10) 1983 (12/13) 1984 (12/14) 1985 (12/16) 1986 (12/20) 1987 (12/22) 1988 (12/23) 1989 (12/24) 1990 (12/25) 1991 (12/30)

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