(Let me finish...)
...to figure out who was the first person I ever friended on Facebook. Because I literally have no idea who it is. All I know is this:
1) I set up my account either on June 5, 2005 or July 5, 2005, which rules out 90-95 percent of my friends now;
2) In those days, you had to be a verified college student, which immediately ruled out my parents, siblings and most of my relatives;
3) Only a handful of my friends had even heard of Facebook at that point, and none of my best friends at the time used it;
4) I had just graduated with my master’s degree, and so what few friends I still had around from the program had already begun fading out of my social circle;
5) Of those I still talked to, I mostly did so through e-mail listservs, blogging, telephone calls and just plain hanging out;
6) Many of my best friends didn’t have accounts until much later, or still hold out;
7) Despite all that, it wasn’t someone I didn’t know.
So basically, whoever was my first friend on Facebook was a UL student who I felt close enough to add, but not close enough to where I saw or talked to them on a regular basis. And this was during a summer when I hardly saw any of my friends at all, because school was over and I was job-hunting and/or being a general recluse.
There may be literally no way to answer this question. But if there is, a falling tree will speak it when no one else is around.
Time to get outside, Ian.