While driving home from pumping iron yesterday afternoon (it'll show any day now), I found myself behind a red Toyota SUV with nine anti-Obama bumper stickers.
NINE. Every one of them disparaging the president with some goofy turn of phrase that probably kills at honor-restoration rallies. They weren't slapped on haphazardly, either — three ovals on each side of the rear windshield, two full-size decals on top and a colorful "IMPEACH OBAMA" sticker at the bottom. It was actually quite nice-looking from 50 feet away, when you can't read any of it. There was no doubt that the driver of this car made an afternoon of this aesthetic effort.
I'm pretty jaded and cynical, which was especially evident during the Bush administration, but to paraphrase Chris Rock, you don't drink nine cups of Kool-Aid. (Tea? Maybe.) All I know is, even at my angriest, I never had nine anti-Bush bumper stickers on my truck. Hell, I didn't even have one! The most political my truck ever got was on Election Day 2004, when I added an extra Kerry-Edwards bumper sticker alongside the John Kerry one I'd had since that summer. Both came off the following morning, and I put them on my bedroom mirror at my parents' house, when they remain to this day.
In the six years I drove that truck, I never had more than four stickers on it at any given time. Most were school- or Saints-related. There was also a Cowboy Mouth one at one point. Mostly, though, it was parking permits.
(Side note: That truck died on me on Sept. 18, 2005, between Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita. Even my trusty wheels couldn't take it anymore, it seems.)
On my current car, I have two small, non-political decals. And even that seems gaudy to me. I can't imagine sporting nine bumper stickers on my car, much less having all of them describe that which I despise most.
On the other hand, high blood pressure just got a little easier to treat.