4/11: Leave Them in the Dustin (Dustin, Kenny, Chad) left Door Matt (Jack, Ian, Sam, Matt for the first half) in the dust with a 78-66 win. Though, technically, they won by forfeit, because the second half was called after about 15 minutes.
Door Matt could have easily come back in that time. Yeah.
The game was never close but, interestingly enough, the teams did swap leads several times (the team ahead tended to be WAY ahead). Especially in the first half, when newcomer Matt gave DM enough of an advantage that trade talk brewed prior to halftime. That talk waxed and waned considerably with each play. “Yeah, we should.” “No, definitely not; you’re beating us even though you’re outnumbered.”
Oh, and Dustin even said he wasn’t sure if his team could keep up their winning ways without getting really tired. Apparently, he’d forgotten the name of his team that I just gave it.
Dustin is not known for ever looking tired, and Sunday was no exception. He played like an acrobat the entire game, scoring several touchdowns that would have felled lesser men like the rest of us. He notched one field-length pick-six off a previously confident Ian, and always seemed to come out of nowhere on defense. Well, offense too. Even a second-half DM defensive-scheme switch, which boiled down to “Everybody on Dustin and pay token attention to that other speed demon,” wasn’t terribly effective.
Kenny, of course, was the other speed demon, long known for having some of the best and most persistent hands in SOFA. Kenny scored two amazingly notable touchdowns, including one that bounced off his hands, Sam’s hands and Ian’s hands, then right back into his hands as he popped Ian’s lip on his way to a score. The other one was notable too, though the exact nature of its notableness has been lost. But I believe it involved a touchdown pass that everyone thought was uncatchable. Not with Kenny! Jeez, do we ever learn?
And was he wearing a different shirt than usual? This didn’t occur to me until after I’d gone home, so it could have been a mirage. Anybody?
Chad was his usual assured self at quarterback, making smart reads and selling plays with expert moves. He also made a few pivotal catches of his own.
And let’s not overlook DM’s exploits. After all, even though they’re losers, DM still scored 66 points, which not even NFL teams can surpass. Jack intercepted in his own end zone and ran it back for a pick-six. Matt had two touchdowns in his debut, continuing a proud tradition of insecure newcomers who post stellar stats (an all-newcomer team would absolutely destroy us). Sam did the majority of QB duty, scoring frequently on both sides of the pass. Ian also threw some touchdown passes.
DM lost Matt at halftime, citing work (the old Stephanie excuse). At that point, the score was 48-44. After that, the game tippled heavily into LTITD’s favor. And yes, as I said, the second half ran only about 15 minutes. Where else will you see a 30-22 game in that span of time? I mean, that isn’t basketball?
At the end, though, the game pretty much belonged to LTITD. Coverage problems, morale issues and salary disputes allowed them to amass a lead that led Jack to abruptly walk right off the field.
Well, that and work.
We’re turning into a league of Stephanies here. I mean, really, how are we supposed to play any decent football around here with such rigorous work ethics?
On that note, I have to work at 4 p.m. tomorrow, so we will be moving the game up to 1 p.m. this week. If you can’t make it that early, just come when you can. Also, I probably won’t be there next week, because of a work function. So, yes, I’m a blatant hypocrite.
And don’t call me Stephanie.