Saturday, January 30, 2010

A new round of rules

Rule #149: Juice the Palms
Now that the Supreme Court has ruled that money equals free speech and thus no limits can be imposed upon it, professional sports has to legalize all steroids. After all, both are unfair advantages that tilt the playing field in ways that force honest people into unhealthy practices just to stay competitive. We should at least be consistent.

Rule #150: Sour Purple Grapes
If you're going to complain about the bad officiating in the NFC Championship Game, you have to gripe about all of it, not just the calls in overtime. After all, the refs gave the Vikings a touchdown on a dubious pass-interference call earlier in the game. Yes, the officiating was bad. You know what else was? Twelve men in the huddle and multiple fumbles. Skol Saints!

Rule #151: Who Dat Say Dey Gonna Bleed Dem Saints?
The NFL cannot copyright "WHO DAT" any more than Paris Hilton could claim "That's hot" or Fox News could take "fair and balanced." And, please, don't force me to equate the first with the last two ever again.

Rule #152: GOP Hates All Things PC
The Republican Party needs to actually learn to use the Internet. With its awkward shout-outs to Twitter and Facebook, and the one-off "What Up" blog, it's a wonder the party's site isn't called www.republicanpartyinternetwebpage.com.

Rule #153: Fence on the Ground
Let's see more of the Barack Obama who spoke at the State of the Union address and the GOP retreat this week. I could grow to like that.

1 comment:

herb said...

Actually, Republicans don't "hate the pc", in fact most people say they have leveraged social media in the elections they have won recently much better than their Democrat counterparts.