Friday, January 01, 2010

My decade in life: 2000

Stroke of midnight, New Year’s Day - Y2K doesn’t happen. The much-hyped end of the world turns out to be a huge disappointment. I remember a Sting song playing on the tube.

1/14 - Suffered a Grade III concussion while ice skating. I fell forward on my right temple after a slip at full speed (probably trying to dodge a child), knocking me back into 1999. Wasn’t quite right for either a month or ever, depending on who you ask. A friend said to my mom at the hospital, “He never did drugs because he didn’t want to kill his brain cells, but he killed them anyway.” Made my 2 a.m. job at FedEx even trippier than it already was.

A few days later - Got my first of two tickets, a dubious rolling-stop violation. Went to defensive-driving school, where one guy said he had been drag-racing. Said the instructor sheepishly, “He’s my son.”

February - At a track meet at McNeese, I videotape a 40-meter sprint that ends in an extended brawl that nearly pushes back to the starting blocks. Unfortunately, I cut tape just in time to miss the first punch, so that vital two seconds is forever lost.

March - Dropped Biology 121, the only class I ever dropped in college. I had failed four straight tests, and telling the instructor that biology was not my thing probably didn’t help. But hey, it isn't!

April - Visited my former house for the last time, to help my parents move out the last of our things. Pretty anticlimactic ending for an era that began at birth.

5/8 - I turn 20. Probably had a final that day. Always did.

May-June - Worked the NCAA regional baseball tournament, which came through Lafayette (and eventually led the Cajuns to Omaha). As part of an upgrade to Moore Field, UL erected a giant black-bar fence around the perimeter. I guess it was necessary, but it looked prison-ish. Met a future, and brief, girlfriend during my stint.

July-August - Worked as a counselor at a camp for training cross-country runners. Was voted both “Most coordinated” and “Least coordinated.” They were half-right.

August - My family gets its first new computer and Internet access. For the first time, I associate e-mail with home rather than late-night cross-town runs to the campus lab.

Sept.-Oct. - Take the Citizens Police Academy course in Lafayette. Got to take a police car out on a skid pad and spatter blood at the crime lab while wearing a full-body paper suit. Also nearly hurled after riding with a cop who drove like Bo Duke. And did I mention getting to watch some of the funniest perp footage ever? Good times.

11/7 - Voted in my first presidential election. Had to stay up and write a report on it for class, due via e-mail at midnight. The lack of clear winner made that very difficult.

The next day - I drop my contact lens down the drain. I have to wear my glasses for more than a month (making an unpleasant month all that more so). I eventually go to the eye doctor for one of my least favorite things dating back to age 5: dilation. Fortunately, advanced technology has since rendered this obsolete. Phew.

12/30 - HAKIM DROPS THE BALL! BRIAN MILNE MAY HAVE RECOVERED THE FUMBLE! THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL!

December - I get new contact lenses just in time to see the impending decline of the decade crystal-clear.

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