Thursday, December 31, 2009

Presenting the Best of 2009

What a year this was, huh? Barack Obama's first year as president has been a wild ride. Well, not so much "wild" as in exciting so much as "wild" in how even more ridiculously divided we all got. Still, for all the crap once again slung upon the American people (often by the American people themselves), it was a year...

Yeah. It was a year.

Here now are my top picks for blogs of the year from Not Right About Anything. Enjoy, again.


1/27: Ice Ice Baby

Some sage advice an old man gave me at the doctor’s office.

Several months after writing this blog, I saw this same car with a “for sale” sign. It looked the same, except that the “Not the FIVE-O” had been conspicuously painted over. Apparently, this street theater reached its emissions limit. But I’m happy to say the speed limit at Conco Quarries remains 17 mph.

Seeing this church sign near my apartment nearly caused me to lose control of my car. As soon as the dark hit, I immediately grabbed my camera and ran back over to catch the hilarious irony of it. Within days, the sign was fixed. I wonder who noticed it and when, but I like to think my little civic journalism helped.

A conversation I had with a friend.

A recurring dream that I still have, and which apparently other people involved the dream have had as well.

Today’s lesson: How not to buy cigarettes for your underage daughter!

Added Kansas and Illinois this year!
I've visited only 17 states so far (34%)


Talking about the Middle East like it was my Middle American neighborhood.

A response to the popular conservative meme about how liberals and conservatives evolved and how beer played a part in that. And of course, conservatives are Manly Men and liberals are effete Frenchies. I rewrote it and made it better and more accurate. Pretty much anyone could have.


It’s not THAT far-fetched.

Amid the hoopla and hysteria about President Obama’s birth certificate, I review my own to ascertain my future political fortunes. By the standards set by birthers, it doesn’t look good.

A Not Right exclusive, this transcript from 1961 proves that Obama is the end product of a longstanding conspiracy to overtake the United States. And boy, did all the pieces fall into place!

Obama’s going to talk to schoolchildren! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Of course it did.

I argue that much of Obama criticism is racist. Somehow, this irritated Obama critics.


3/18: So true for so many

No, this isn’t the review for Going Rogue; look for that in 2010. This is the review for Sarah Palin: A New Kind of Leader, a shameless fanbook that makes shameless fanbooks look bad.

A take on the controversial political cartoon in which Obama was portrayed as a monkey, which of course was vociferously defended (and not by me).

Included mostly for the easy jokes.

I like talking about marriage and politics, especially when the two wed.

The key difference between liberals and conservatives these days.

Tea parties? Why not burn bras while you’re at it?

Protests are all well and good, but the tea partiers should have learned a thing or two from seasoned demonstrators in looking slightly less ridiculous.

My response to a glut of allegations that the political system and government of the U.S. is too far gone to save. Wonder what happened this year that led to all that talk?

What defines success in this country? Well, here’s what shouldn’t.

Some definitions for those who think profit should rule all in this country, including the pesky democracy aspect of it.

Any blog titled “Deep breath” is worth proceeding into with caution. This rumination on the death of George Tiller is no different.

They took it.

Running on fuming: A series on conservative rhetorical tactics

Be they local newspapers, Facebook, Democratic Underground or any variety of blogs or advocacy group sites, I read a lot of online forums. Just within the past few days, I've noticed a glut of comments on all of them that read like this:

"As a lifelong Democrat who voted for Obama, [far-right talking point]."

They go out of their way to express just how Democratic they are, sometimes more than once per sentence, in that tellingly defensive way ... They then follow it up with a statement that, were it not for this disclaimer, would be more at home at a John Birch Society meeting. Or maybe David Duke's house.

"Oh, Ian, you hate everyone who doesn't toe the Democrat line exactly!"

There's a difference between ideological purity (which doesn't exist among Democrats anyway) and being so far off the radar that it doesn't even make sense. Disagreement with an Obama policy is not going to send someone to the right of Ann Coulter, OK? But even it it did, good riddance to such an unprincipled person!

Has anyone else noticed this?

Government spending is a worthwhile topic until it overrides all sense of rationality and compassion.

A suggested antidote to the suspiciously proletariat Labor Day.

No one rose up to my challenge for a serious debate, so I had to do it myself. At least I won!

During a late-night drive home in the rain, I consider how my rear wiper is a lot like health care reform.

In this entry in my yearlong Generic Title series, I take on Fox News, right-wing voices and the majesty of the free market.

My most recent screed against the death penalty, updated in the wake of the execution of Beltway sniper John Allen Muhammad.

I was accused of making this one up, as if I needed a backstory. I will say this — if I really had made it up, it would have been more interesting.

7/18: R.I.P., Uncle Walter


This year has seen a quick, and sustained, wave of contrarian dissent. Some of it necessary, some of it reactionary, some of it just plain annoying. What surprises me is how early it started.

The only thing more frustrating than health care reform is those who are frustrated over health care reform. Myself included.


3/30: Any given Sunday
(Photo by Nathan Papes)

The NFL really showed where its priorities lie when Chad Ochocinco received a much larger fine for a good-natured joke than Tommie Harris for punching an opponent in the face. What is the league afraid of, losing its family-friendly image?

A satirical piece on how sports pundits seem to never give the New Orleans Saints their due, even when picking them to win the Super Bowl. Easily mistaken for real articles.

Written immediately in the aftermath of the Saints’ first loss of the season to the Dallas Cowboys. Well, maybe not immediately, because that blog would have read, “DIE COWBOYS DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE AGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!” So I gave it a few hours. It helped somewhat.


People really like to make you eat. Especially if you don’t want to.

My thoughts on the death of Michael Jackson.

4/29: In retrospect, a bad idea

BONUS DRAFT FROM 2/10: One of those parallels I'm fond of

I recently inherited a vehicle from a relative who can no longer drive. He bought it new eight years ago, and at the time everyone was awestruck. We all loved to hunker down in the passenger seats as he'd red-line it and give us a speed thrill we could feel in our toes. As the years went by he got even bolder, jumping it off ramps and drifting with the best of them. And he never, ever wore his seat belt. Some of our family members objected to this disregard for safety, but we laughed off their concerns and dismissed their party-pooping ways.

(I don’t even know what that was supposed to mean...)

Oh, and don’t forget the Rules! Wrote 93 new ones in the best rule year yet.

Peace, aughties.

1 comment:

Michael said...

The decade isn't quite over yet, Ian. But Happy New Year all the same.