Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Flag football recaps for those in the know

11/22: The Nov. 22 SOFA match was not known for its particularly high turnout, but it was known for its one-handed catches.

Ian netted a one-handed touchdown deflection in the sun and Tyree caught a one-handed TD pass to close the first half as Tyree’s Trio (him, Jack and Stephanie, I think) topped Triple Jeopardy (Ian, Sam and Chad?) on their way to a 53-48 win.

Sam notched an impressive long touchdown for TJ, while Tyree Tyreed his way to a long fluke of a TD for TT. Ian also scored a long TD.

The score was 24-20 at the half. The record doesn’t show which team was winning.

To be honest, my notes are a little screwy for this one. You’d think a 3-on-3 game would be a little easier to remember in terms of lineups, scores and plays. I used to think Chris didn’t write recaps for 3-on-3 games because he was a punk. But now I realize that it’s a lot like guessing a four-letter word in Hangman — you think it’d be easy, but it’s actually way harder because there are just so many four-letter words in the English language. Damn!

Well, I certainly overcompensated for that the following week, as you’ll see.

Game Balls:

Sickest Hit in SOFA History: Stephanie collided with Tyree early in the game. It sounded like a melon getting brained. She’s OK, though. She’s beginning to look like the Stephanie we all knew and loved before she got all bruised up and freakish.

11/29: The Nov. 29 SOFA matchup was one for the ages. At least as far as SOFA ages go. We’re not that old.

A 5-on-4 matchup that only grew as time went by led to a game far more fun and unpredictable than its 100-60 final score would suggest.

Monster Squad (Tyree, Jack, Ian, Jerome, Emily and later Toi) ran away with the game after a bruising early shootout against the Princess Brides (Sam, Joe, Kenny, Chad and later Mike).

Sam struck first for the Brides very quickly to jump to a 6-0 lead. Emily answered for the Monsters, and Jerome pulled in the extra points to snuff out that fire. Somebody forgot to tell Sam about said snuffing, however, as he scored another TD with a Joe PAT to make it 14-8 Brides. Jack didn’t stand for that and magically changed the score to 14-all.

Tyree then nabbed his obligatory pick-six to make it 20-14. I think it’s in his contract.

Sam, who never learns, notched yet another TD pass from Chad to make it 20-all. Jerome then took it upon himself to score a response score and PAT to make it 28-20. That came off a Tyree interception, but that probably goes without saying.

Kenny narrowed the lead to 28-26 Monsters, which got Emily and Jerome to thinking. That thinking led to scoring, as Emily notched her second touchdown of the day from one yard out, and Jerome converted the two. 36-26 Monsters.

The Brides, feeling jilted, rallied around Joe, who ran in a long score to make it 36-32. This was on a fake reverse, where Ian’s ignorant cry of “REVERSE!” totally sold the play. Nice going. At least they didn’t get the extra point, which they never seemed to do.

The Brides had a chance to retake the lead when Kenny intercepted the ball. But they turned over on downs, enabling a Jack-and-Em point package to widen the Monsters’ lead to 44-32. A final first-half push by PB stalled after Jack nipped Sam in his bud at the gun.

The Monster Squad led 44-32 at the half. And as you’ll see, they led a lot longer than that too.

Tyree drew the first blood of the second half, with Jerome capping the PAT. 52-32. Joe responded with a PAT-free TD. 52-38. Tyree and Jerome weren’t quite sure if the Brides heard them before, so they repeated their one-two punch. 60-38.

At this point in the game, if someone had told you the score was 60-38 and the final score would be 100-60, you’d probably hope for an inspiring comeback. One that would make a great book and movie, perhaps starring Sandra Bullock and Cuba Gooding Jr.?


Ian temporarily got over his fear of completing passes and lobbed one to Tyree to extend the lead (Jerome PAT), 68-38. Joe helped his team get over their fear of scoring by answering in kind (Sam PAT), 68-46.

With 15 minutes left in the game, two guys passed by and became the latest SOFA acquisitions. Ten minutes were added to the game to accommodate our new friends. Toi (Monsters) rocked a Reggie Bush-style triple-stripe haircut (and shares a first name with a former Saints cornerback who used to give my grandfather conniption fits). Mike came in for the Brides and played less than a minute before embarrassing Ian with a field-length pick-six. 68-52.

“Are you 14?” Ian could be heard gasping after the play. “That’s usually who does this to me.” Mike said, “No. I’m 18.” Oh, OK. That’s not so bad then.

Tyree took command once again, as he and Jerome added eight more to the board. 76-52. A nice interception by Jack set up a Jerome/Toi eight-pointer. 84-52. Sam and Sam again for the Brides, 84-60. Jerome and Emily. 92-60. I have more game info than ways to express it at this point. Finally, Tyree with a walk-off TD, 100-60.

Game Balls:

Least mentioned in this recap: Chad. He enabled most of the Brides’ scoring at quarterback, a position that doesn’t often get a lot of glory.

Best impression of a helicopter: Jerome, with his spectacular spinning play for a long gain late in the game. With a few more flags flying, he could have resembled a carwash.

Party like it’s 1987: Both teams in this recap are named after movies released in 1987. Mike and Toi were not yet born in 1987. But they are still not the youngest to play in SOFA; that would be a several-way tie between a handful of 14-year-olds who have played with us (and always won).

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