Monday, September 28, 2009

Parenting tips from Ian

Today: How to buy cigarettes for your underage daughter

(Based on actual events)

* Don't tell the grocery clerk that they're for your daughter. Really. How hard is that?

* Request beforehand that your daughter not react to the purchase by jumping on your back and squealing, "THANK YOU!!"

* Take a good look at your daughter. Yes, she could pass for 18. Yes, she's wearing college sweats. But the acne on her face would flag her even if she was 40.

* Don't ask your daughter if she wants a pack or a carton without making sure she knows the difference between each.

* Get your stories straight in advance. When the clerk inevitably asks for your daughter's ID, it hurts your case to say, "It's in the car/at home" simultaneously.

* "I've got cash" is not a proper response to an ID request.

* Now that you've been denied, drive to Kum & Go and try again. Corrupting your offspring shouldn't be the exclusive domain of the superintelligent.

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