Monday, July 27, 2009

This didn't help my stomach bug

I won't blame you if you don't watch this.



Sarah Palin's speeches are typically more of a test of physical endurance than an intellectual exercise. This one nauseates me for a different reason: it was actually relatively coherent. Shall we count the vomit-inducing ways?

- Is it me, or does Sarah seem really energized? She seems relieved in the way people get when they finish their final college exams, with that glow you get when you've decided to leave a boring event and you get that second wind. And for her, that boring event is the governorship.

- Random salute to our brave troops. Cheaper applause can't be bought at Dollar General.

- Uh...what?

- I wonder how many people heard Sarah talk about, "The road that is north to the future," and mentally added Dan Quayle's quote, "or whether we're going to go past to the back!" I'm barely old enough to remember Quayle, and even I did it.

- "Just between us, Alaska is better than the U.S. Wait, what's C-SPAN?"

- Sarah deserves credit for avoiding the old political cliche, "Our best days are still ahead." But avoiding it with the mother of awkward transitions to more troop praise debits that credit.

- She almost says something about soldiers not worth snark, but then mentions the soldiers who fight for freedom of speech, "Which, par for the course, I'm going to exercise!" (Cheers) Forget Tina Fey - I think David Cross could best lampoon that line.

- Sweet Jesus, can you make a point without leaning on the military in every sentence? We get it, you support the troops. That's so edgy of you! Let me guess: you also like apple pie?

- "So how about, in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin' things up?" (Thunderous cheers) Careful, Sarah! That's no way to get a gig with Fox News.

- "Our new governor has a very nice family too. So leave his kids alone." (Rapturous cheers) I'm sure the media will, as long as one of those kids doesn't completely undermine one of his top campaign platforms.

- "Remarkably succinct words" - "What does Sarah Palin never include in her speeches, Alex?"

- Based on her pantomimes, Sarah could easily get a job as a symphony orchestra conductor. But she'd probably step down halfway through Beethoven's Second.

- Isn't the energy rebate socialist?

- Do you suppose they abbreviated the Petroleum Oversight Office before they named it?

- "They just don't get it on this one...You're gonna see anti-hunting, anti-Second Amendment circuses from Hollywood. And here's how they do it: they use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool...Stand strong and remind them, patriots will protect our individual guaranteed right to bear arms...We eat; therefore, we hunt."

1) What ever would Sarah do with a real sense of perspective about enemies?

2) Shooting animals from a helicopter isn't hunting; it's a drive-by.

3) Project much?!!

4) No single statement encapsulates Sarah's ill fit for public office better than, "We eat; therefore, we hunt." It's deliberately ignorant of the gun issue, and sounds like something Bush would say drunk.

There's another eight-minute segment of this, but I'm queasy enough as it is.

13 comments:

herb said...

Why are liberals so hung up on Palin? Republicans really don't even like her but you all seem to think we adore her 100%

Ian McGibboney said...

Well, she sure seems to be a darling among the right. Who else is there?

Nick Istre said...

Starbursts anyone?

Granted, the media in general, both left and right, were all over her, whether as a darling or a target. That said, my girlfriend's conservative parents did think she was "a great, down-to-earth" pick.

I'd like to wish she was gone from the media eye and the political scene, but I have doubts that will be fulfilled.

herb said...

Actually, according to recent polls only about 12% of Republicans think she should be president, so I don't know where you and the media get this idea that we fawn all over her.

NOLA Progressive said...

Hmmm. I'm not sure? Possibly from the footage of huge crowds gathering to hear her speak and cheering her wildly? The Fox pundits who talk about her with barely concealed erections. The NRA who treats her like the goddamn Rolling Stones? Nah you're right. No idea where we come up with that.

herb said...

I'll reiterate, according to the latest Fox News poll only 12% of Republicans think she's worthy of being President. So while it's true she's likable and has followers, there is no way anyone on our side thinks she's a serious contender. Keep beating that dead horse though, it will take your mind of the fact that your president and his turd policies are tanking.

Ian McGibboney said...

If you're talking about this poll, Herb, it also says that 27 percent of Republicans - the largest among any answer option - thinks she should be vice president.

You know what a vice president does, Herb? They stand a heartbeat away from the presidency. Tell Sarah that the next time you see her.

Who do you like for president in 2012, Herb?

herb said...

So what you're saying is it's crazy...CRAZY that people would rather have Palin in a VP position where she could learn and grow for 4-8 years before running for President than immediately running for President? I'd say that's a pretty reasonable stance to have concerning Palin, she certainly needs to take time to get more executive experience and learn some things before running for POTUS. You don't want ANOTHER inexperienced neophyte in the office, I mean look how bad the one we have now is doing.

I'm surprised a guy that voted in a bumbling idiot like Joe Biden as VP is so worried about the potential of a VP taking over, did I mention he's an idiot?

As for 2012, no one has thrown their hat on the ring. When they do I'll do what I always do and examine their stances and records and decide which candidate would be best for me.

Ian McGibboney said...

Yes, Herb, it is crazy. I don't want Palin as vice president. The position is not a place to "learn and grow" - and to say that she needs more executive experience is to undermine the argument her defenders all made in lock step during the 2008 campaign.

To even suggest that Palin would be an acceptable alternative to Obama in any circumstance is ridiculous. Only people like you think Obama is a failure and neophyte for not solving all of the world's problems in six months. Guess what - he may not be able to do it in eight years, even. And even if he does, you'll find some way to dismiss that, too. Because you'll find ANY way to disparage Obama that allows you to reach your already-confirmed conclusion that Obama is a disaster (which you probably reached sometime last summer).

And don't compare Sarah to Joe Biden. All she could do in that debate is wink. Biden has a tact issue, but that doesn't make him stupid, or even wrong, necessarily. I'd take him 100 times out of 100 over Palin.

The fact remains that the GOP ran Palin when they were well aware that she was not ready, and even after that, and her unwillingness to ever be ready, is clear, many still herald her as the future. What a joke.

herb said...

Yes, Herb, it is crazy. I don't want Palin as vice president. The position is not a place to "learn and grow"

That's interesting because I recall liberals saying that's what Obama could do as POTUS "grow and learn".

To even suggest that Palin would be an acceptable alternative to Obama in any circumstance is ridiculous.

I never suggested that. In case you weren't aware he's POTUS, I said she might be good as VP one day. They are two different positions.

Guess what - he may not be able to do it in eight years, even.

Good job at attempting to move the goal posts, too bad liberals spent most of the campaign telling us he would cure the worlds ills since he is, as they say a "Lightworker". I guess that plan shit the bed and now it's time to reset expectations?

And don't compare Sarah to Joe Biden. All she could do in that debate is wink.

I wasn't even talking about that debate. Joe Biden is an idiot for a wide range of comments and actions, none of which have anything to do with that debate.

The fact remains that the GOP ran Palin when they were well aware that she was not ready, and even after that, and her unwillingness to ever be ready, is clear, many still herald her as the future. What a joke.

The same could be said about Obama. The fact is that Palin's appeal to some Republicans scares the shit out of liberals, hence the reason they still feel the need to savage her even though she's a private citizen now.

musing said...

"Private citizen"? Sarah Palin is no more a private citizen now than she ever was when she was on the Republican ticket last year. The only time she wants to be a private citizen is when someone asks her a question she'd rather not have to answer, either because it would reveal something embarrassing about her or because her answer would make her look even less competent than she already does. In case you missed it, Herb, she quit being governor of Alaska because she wanted to move on to bigger and better things in politics.

And if so many Republicans dislike Palin, how do you account for the fact that her average approval rating in national polls taken over the last month is at 40%? I'd be willing to bet that if there were a way to sort or crosstab those numbers by party affiliation, it would be a lot higher among Republicans than anywhere else.

herb said...

Whoa 4 out of 10 random people like her, that's DOWN from 6 out of 10 a year ago. Her popularity is skyrocketing Mikey, you broke the code!

musing said...

Palin's never had a 60% approval rating in a national poll that I've seen, Herb. Hardly surprising, given that at this time a year ago, nobody outside of Alaska (and whatever nutjob on McCain's staff who recommended her to him) had ever heard of her. She hasn't polled above 50% approval since last October--and most of the polls that had her in that range were done by Assmussen, which is known to have a Republican bias.

And no, the people polled in those surveys weren't random. They were voters. Regrettably, I don't have access to the crosstabs for those polls, so I have no idea how her approval correlates with the party identification of the survey respondents. I would wager a considerable sum of money, however, that her approval among Democrats and independents is hovering in the single digits or perhaps the low teens--which would mean, in order to bring the average up to 40%, that her approval rating among Republicans would have to be well above 50%. And given that your original point, if you can remember that far back in the dialogue after all the BS you've been throwing around here, was that Republicans didn't really like her all that much, you're either (a) clueless, (b) a liar, or (c) deluded. If not (d) All of the above.