Wednesday, February 04, 2009

It's hard coming up with a blog title for these

Rule #68: Where isn't the outrage?
Conservatives have to add some proportion to their uproar. Lately, the ones I know are all angry and indignant about the fact that some of Obama's appointees owe some taxes. And, yes, that can be an important issue (ironic though it is, coming from the drown-government-in-the-bathtub types). But to hear some of these critics talk about it, it's like Tom Daschle spent April 15 chewing on aborted fetuses instead of filing his returns. It's been jarring seeing right-wingers froth at the mouth equally for so many years over issues as disparate as illegal immigration, abortion, flag burning, Saddam Hussein, public schools, Terri Schiavo, gay-pride parades, terrorism, food stamps, the Second Amendment, haircuts, solar energy, the inheritance tax and scarves. It's almost as if the cause is unimportant, as long as it lets Grade-A anger spew forth. And it's probably no accident that they all get mad at the same things so reliably on cue, such as, "Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction that he used on his own people!" or "Barack Obama threw his grandmother under the bus!" Or whatever else Hannity or Rush tells them to get angry about today.

All I'm saying is, you need perspective. Otherwise, people are going to think you're an irrational mob fueled by an anger that you seem to enjoy and can generate from just about anything. Unless, of course, that's the point.

Rule #69: Let the Eagle Bore
Republicans must create one good song. Do whatever it takes. Get a liberal to write one for you. Hell, I'll do it, and not ironically, either. I just feel sorry for you guys for having to pretend that "Bush Was Right" and "Raisin' McCain" are passable songs. After all, what's the point of even having a big tent if "Barack the Magic Negro" can clear it out within seconds? Take a cue from your party's sudden interest in black people and visit a gospel church. Check out a concert in an arty city. Watch videos on YouTube and take notes. You saw the Bruce Springsteen Super Bowl halftime show! Get a sense of the lyrical innovation and spirited delivery that all good music shares. You may be forced to think and dance, but roll with it anyway. After soaking that all in, sit down, set your talking points to a funky beat and get the best musicians who will cooperate to cut a slammin' phat beat. Only then will you create a masterpiece worth getting its funding cut.

Rule #70: Semantic antics
"Results-oriented" is not a phrase to be used by humans. Because I'm pretty sure it describes every job, task, product and natural process in the known universe. Although a job that involves obstructing people and processes sounds pretty awesome. But even that reaps results. If a car manufacturer isn't bragging about having wheels on their vehicles, then no one should brag that their career involves results. OK, bad example with the car companies these days, but you know what I mean.

67 more rules


rhonda said...

"it's like Tom Daschle spent April 15 chewing on aborted fetuses instead of filing his returns..."

if laughing at that until tears came down was wrong, then i don't wanna be right.

Chris said...

I find it extremely disconcerting that the same people that criticized the Bush administration for all their sins seem so willing to pardon a formerly-potential Cabinet nominee for his.

If anything, this shows us how corrupt both sides of the political spectrum is. It's just going to take everyone a while to realize it.

Ian McGibboney said...

I don't think I was ever angry over Bush's appointees for an issue like personal income taxes, though that one who illegally paid her nanny was suspect enough to not be confirmed.

And that's exactly my point. It's not that some valid issues aren't being raised, but that Republicans can apparently get as riled over this issue as they do for any other bugaboo. How is that possible? Until I know the answer to that, it's hard to take it seriously. Because tomorrow, there will be another source of outrage and another round of accusations of hypocrisy and how Obama and Bush are exactly the same in yet another broad sense.

Just remember that Obama is just getting started. Give him some time to do something before accusing him of being like Bush. Especially when the few major actions he's done so far couldn't possibly be different.

Ian McGibboney said...

And Chris, your repeated suggestions that I'm somehow blind to political corruption ring hollow. I'm not a partisan, and I have never been registered to any political party. Typically, I vote Democrat because the party fits my views more than the Republicans and I'm not interested in voting for a spoiler just to make a statement no one will hear. That isn't to say I wouldn't warm to a viable third party, but there isn't one right now. And Obama, for me at least, was actually my favorite candidate in the race. That is rare.

Nick said...

"Lately, the ones I know are all angry and indignant about the fact that some of Obama's appointees owe some taxes. And, yes, that can be an important issue (ironic though it is, coming from the drown-government-in-the-bathtub types)."

Yeah, how dare we expect politicians to follows the same rules as the rest of us peasants.

You sure seem to be coming to the rescue of the elites these day, Ian.

Chris's comment is spot on. The corruption reaks from both sides equally, though its a shame many don't want to admit that. President Obama is just as bought off as George Bush was, and so is most of Congress.

Ian McGibboney said...

Tom Daschle not paying some of his taxes is not going to be Obama's Watergate, so get past that right now.

I suspect that Obama's term is going to be like Clinton to the hundredth power for those looking for a retroactive reason that Obama shouldn't be in office. My advice to you is, find something that will hold up to scrutiny, and avoid generalizations; saying the Democrats are just as corrupt as the Republicans is astonishngly ignorant. Consider magnitude, not just quantity, though Republicans easily win on both fronts.

Yes, neither party is perfect. But if abandoned my support of Obama, like you seem to be baiting me to do, then you'd just accuse me of being a fairweather supporter with no backbone. Either way, you have your indignity and prove my original point.

Chris said...

In any case, Daschle is no longer the HHS nominee and Obama has apologized. Good transparency from our leadership and much appreciated.

Now if they'd only throw Daschle in jail like they would do any one of you or I if we fail to pay six figures in taxes, it'll all be good.