Sunday, January 18, 2009

Rulz

Rule #59: The air up there

God didn't save that plane; the pilot did. If God were in the picture, he would have saved the birds first. Then everyone would have gotten where they were going without multiple injuries they probably can't afford to treat. And there wouldn't have been massive internal-combustion engines leaking fossil fuel into the Hudson River. Are those passengers walking on water? No, they're walking on the wings of a machine designed and built by some of the best minds in the world, piloted by one of the best pilots in the world. And God bless them for it. In a manner of speaking.

Rule #60: Yank this
Conservatives must stop forwarding incredibly condescending and unfunny e-mails about liberals ending with, "If you're a liberal, we're just yankin' yer chains." Set aside the playground-bully aspect of this statement; after all, we're used to that by now, and anyway we have the presidency back. Instead, it begs another question: Are you serious or not? Either you're making a satirical point worth standing behind or you aren't. Don't be insecure. After all, you wouldn't want anyone to think you're an effete, French bread-eatin', wine-drinkin', tolerance-lovin', Larry-the-Cable-Guy-hatin' librul, do you? Ah, I'm just yankin' yer chain.

More rules

2 comments:

Ezra Kornscrabble said...

HEY!

YOU SHOULDA SPELL-CHECKED!

YOU SPELT A WORD WRONG!

TRY TO FIND IT, I AIN'T TELLING YOU WHICH ONE IT IS!

GOD DID SAVE THOSE POEPLE ON THAT PLANE, HE WAS WORKING THROUGH THE PILOT....DIDN'T YOU EVER HERE THE PHRASE 'GOD WORKS IN MISTERIOUS WAYS'?

PS--IF YOUR A LIBERAL, I'M JUST YANKIN' YOUR CHAIN.

Ian McGibboney said...

"Ezra," I didn't spell anything wrong unless it was on purpose.

And yes, God does work in mysterious ways. But education, training, intuition, professionalism and adrenaline also help a lot. If you want that to be a work of God, fine. But to apply that nearly universal notion of faith to something like this is to shortchange the pilot and everyone else involved.

Also, a lot of people don't survive plane crashes, and I'd prefer to think that it isn't because God hates them and their families.