Monday, January 05, 2009

"I talk to families who die"

The kind of person George W. Bush is:

-- He's ruthlessly on time and is intolerant of others who aren't. He learned that in the Alabama National Guard.

-- When he's hungry, you'd better have some food for him. Among his favorites are peanut butter and grilled-cheese sandwiches; the latter must be served with a side of French's mustard, or else! Did he demand Freedom's mustard in 2003?

--He requires formal dress in the White House. Because the adults are back in charge. Meanwhile, Dubya's in Crawford, clearing brush in jeans on his ranch.

-- His relentless word-mangling hides a secret intellectual. I don't believe this one bit. But even if it were true, he seems intent on hiding it, which is itself more contemptible than being dumb in the first place.

-- He wants you to get to the point, but will tell you the same anecdotes repeatedly. Probably because you want to talk about 2009, and he's more interested in 2001.

-- He'll give you a nickname as a way of breaking the ice. You know, because the adults are in charge.

-- In his own words, he's "a nester." As if his provincialism wasn't obvious enough every second he's been in the public spotlight, Bush goes and literally proves he's in bed with the oil industry by "nesting" in Dallas' most wealthy neighborhood.

-- He's a picky eater and rabid about exercise. Shit. We have that in common.

If this (admittedly fascinating) piece was intended to humanize Bush, it did the exact opposite. These qualities are more indicative of a spoiled child or narcissistic good ol' boy than someone tasked with leading the world's most powerful nation. I hope to never understand how people ever thought in their right minds that this arrogant, authoritarian idiot was worthy of two presidential terms. I can only hope Barack Obama's election and presidency marks a definite end to this eight-year mistake. At this point, even Bush has got to be going, "Please let me go to Dallas now! I just want to go home and be catered to endlessly instead of having to deal with the rabble any longer."

Just go, Mr. Bush. Please, just go.

No comments: