Saturday, January 17, 2009

25 things about me

Yes, I've done this before. And a few times before that. Sue me. I'm interesting. You do it too!

1) I almost never use spell-check, even at work. It's not because I'm cocky (I am, but that's not why), but because I never miss a misspelled word. My brain won't let me. The only errors I worry about are those it won't catch.

2) I subscribe to two music magazines - Rolling Stone and Blender - but I haven't bought new music in years.

3) The easiest and fastest way to piss me off is to say I'm a bad writer, especially if you're an admitted bad writer yourself. I was assaulted once as a teenager, and I harbor no grudge against those guys. But I could still rip that bad writer's fucking pretentious head off this very minute.

4) I can't swim. But I still try.

5) I could read before I could talk.

6) I made a C in driver's ed in high school. Not because I sucked at driving, but because our instructor only graded us once in the entire week of driving - and that was the one time I botched the parallel parking.

7) I don't at all mind speaking before a large crowd. But I hate talking on the phone.

8) I am probably the sorest loser who ever lived. Considering I'm a New Orleans Saints fan who voted for Al Gore and John Kerry, and was the worst player on every sports team I ever played for, it's astounding I have any hair left.

9) I drank beer and coffee as a very young kid, but not as an adult. I had one cup of coffee in seven years of college, as an experiment, and I got through one-third of it in about an hour.

10) My longest relationship was about eight months, and was not in this decade.

11) I got detention in 4th grade for the unspeakable crime of standing up to grab a tissue while the teacher was talking. She screamed at me, telling me I was rude and disrupting the class. Go figure.

12) I have never won a single writing-related award. The last time I tried, I paid $75 for the privilege of losing to an op-ed about squirrels. So I don't go for awards anymore.

13) I did, however, win third place in art contest in second grade that I didn't even enter. It was a self-portrait. The winner was blind.

14) As a kid, I ran in the Special Olympics. Long story. At least I won. The first race.

15) I have an iron but no ironing board. Ironic.

16) The sickest I've ever been was after volunteering to assist Hurricane Katrina evacuees. I threw up 20 times in two hours and thought I was going to die right there on the bathroom floor. But I'll never forget my experience helping those people.

17) I haven't had a job with normal hours in almost 10 years. I haven't had a reason to wake up in the morning (other than because I feel like it) in four years.

18) No girl I've dated has ever died, but several of my school bullies have.

19) I once got an offer to write for a weekly based on a letter I wrote them. Which either says something about me or something about them. I can't tell.

20) One of the New Monkees read my blog and e-mailed me to tell me he found it hilarious. He isn't the most famous person I've talked to or interviewed, but it's still my favorite celebrity anecdote.

21) I don't believe everything necessarily happens for a reason, or at least a good reason.

22) Two years after moving here, I'm still weirded out by Springfield.

23) I look forward to the future. I like when things change.

24) When I type a word wrong, I go all the way to the beginning and retype it even if the mistake is the last letter.

25) I can accurately gauge someone by what they think of my car.


Jason said...

You've only been here two years? I would have thought you had been here longer.

nolareno said...

Great idea! I have to give an introductory presentation this week. This format is a great way to approach that task, much more fun than a narrative. It reminds me of the Harper's lists, you can structure it so it bounces. Thanks for the inspiration.

GumboFilé said...

many of these go a long way toward explaining #10

Ian McGibboney said...

Jason: it often feels that way.

Nolareno: Glad I could help. Best of luck to you!

Gumby: Outside of south Louisiana, being single after the age of 17 is not a stigma or due to a personal shortcoming. Stick your head out once in a while.