Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Making up for lost blog time

First off, I apologize for not posting much in the past few days. I guess you could say I was on a honeymoon, except that there was no exotic traveling or hot lovin' or gradual alienation of unmarried friends or anything like that.

And now, as MC Hammer says, "Pump it up. It's time for the news."

--A large group of Catholic bishops got together and gave Barack Obama an ultimatum over his stance on abortion, and demanded that he reverse it. They're also calling out Catholic politicians such as Joe Biden and demanding they not take communion or otherwise practice their faith within the church.

Or what? Am I missing something here? Does the United States government owe the Catholic Church, or any other religion, anything? Or is it just that time of the cycle again, when Catholics decide that our leaders aren't worthy to shine Benedict XVI's miter (as long as they're Democrats, that is)?

Strictly from a PR perspective, this isn't the best approach. In this age of hope and change and unity, why would such a massive organization try so hard to be divisive? "Agree with us 100 percent on every single issue, or we don't even want to see your heathen face in this house of Jesus. Actually, all you really have to do is agree with us on abortion and gays, because that's the only two things we ever talk about."

Joe Biden is a Catholic. You'd think the church would see this as an opportunity, but here's how I see that conversation going:

Bishop: "Psst, hey, Biden, we need you to help us out. Talk to the big O for us, will ya?"
Biden: "I'll see what I can do."
Bishop: "Thanks! Oh, and get the hell out of our church, heretic."

This isn't to knock Catholics in general; most of my family is Catholic, and I used to consider myself one as well. But crummy proclamations like the one emanating from these bishops ensure that I will never again align with the church. And they show exactly why Americans rejected such wannabe theocrats in this election.

--In St. Tammany Parish, Louisiana, eight Ku Klux Klansmen are in custody for shooting a woman in the head during a botched initiation ritual. No one's really sure what happened, but it seems to me in this day and age the Klan would be rolling out the red carpet for the few yokels left who want to join, not rolling the red out of their heads. But I'm not in the KKK, so I shouldn't judge. Maybe it's a rite of passage. They all seem brainless anyway.

Thanks for representing, Louisiana. I've never been prouder to have a Missouri driver's license.

--Here in Springfield, a law is currently being bandied about regarding the downtown square. In short, they want to close the square at 11 p.m. on weekends, a full two and a half hours before the bars close (at 1:30 a.m., which is itself pathetic). Originally, the plan was to apparently allow for people to walk through, but not to loiter. But the latest version allows for anyone who even sets foot in the square after 11 p.m. to be arrested. Yes, arrested. Even if they're visitors who aren't aware of such a stupid law. Advocates say that visitors are being scared off by the "riffraff," which by my own account refers to the pasty, pierced goths and the homeless vets. What is their logic with the tourist trade here? "I got arrested where Wild Bill Hickok shot that guy and where they lynched those black dudes once and all I got was this lousy T-shirt?" As hard as the city's trying to sell downtown, they sure are trying to scare people away from it. But that would be logical.

They say that closing the square would allow police to focus on the streets as bars close. Because nothing says "secure" like a dark square at 1:30 in the morning that the cops aren't anywhere near. Believe me, I've trotted down that square at unsavory hours. It's not so much the homeless as the aggressive drunk club girls you have to worry about.

But maybe it is in the best interest of the city to close off the public areas and allow only those with money to spend to stick around. Let those who just want to hang out and be scary go do it some other the suburbs...where they'll marry my sister! OH NO!!

--I can't type "square" to save my life, apparently. I keep having to retype it, because my digits don't naturally go from "Q" to "U." Heh. Almost sounds like a pickup line, doesn't it?

--Obama and Nancy Pelosi are now calling for the Big Three U.S. automakers to be included in the bailout plan. One popular theory on the Intertubes is that the reason Ford, GM and Chrysler are being priced out of the market by Toyota, Honda, Hyundai and others is that we have to pay health care benefits. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't - but it could also be that Toyota, Honda and Hyundai make better and more efficient cars that are more conducive to the lifestyles and wallets of today's environmentally (and pocketbookily) aware motorist. Ford, for one, could sell that new 65-MPG Ford Festiva here as well as in England. Again, logic.

--George W. Bush admitted the "Mission Accomplished" banner was a mistake. Yes, and I'm sorry I harassed Julia Hiatt in third grade during recess that one time that got me sent to time-out. Too late now. Today, I'm waiting for Bush to say his second mistake was admitting to the first mistake.

--Man, I hope Obama makes blogging boring for the next few years.


Jack said...

Man, those Catholic upper-ups are some kind of ban happy, aren't they. They do this every election cycle. How does threatening members lead to salvation?

Jason said...

So you don't feel the Catholic Church has a right to set standards for their membership?

Ian McGibboney said...

Jason, I don't think the Catholic Church should rally around two wedge issues that you could argue are even mentioned in the Bible and make political condemnations. Especially when the Church tolerates war-mongering Republican leaders and pedophile priests.

And I especially resent that this organization exercises such division and then expects the U.S. government to kowtow to it. Where's the logic in that?

saintlywife said...

To be fair, the American Catholic Church has never insisted that politicians agree with them "100 percent on every single issue"...just on the issue of abortion. Politicians can be pro-death penalty, pro-preemptive war, pro-taking from the lower classes to give to the rich, and anti-Everything that Jesus preached against, as long as they're anti-abortion.

The only "Catholic issue" according to the priests is the abortion one...the Council of Bishops be damned.