Saturday, October 25, 2008

'You could see the hand of God over her'

Sarah Palin visited Springfield yesterday, making a speech in the parking lot at Bass Pro Shops. It was everything you'd expect.

I suspected as much.

I wasn't at this splendid event, given that the weather started out cold and progressively worsened until the sky was dark gray and drizzly for Palin's big moment. Also, I don't like her voice, policies or apparent disgust for intelligence. And I had to wash my hair, which is starting to look like Dennis Miller's in his prime. You know, before he went all like-this-woman on us.

But if the newspaper coverage is any indicator, I didn't miss much:

On energy, Palin said she and McCain would tap the country's existing energy resources, such as billions of barrels of domestic oil.

While she was explaining the proposal, the sun shone briefly through the clouds, prompting Palin to say: "We all see the light. Yes! We gotta drill, baby, drill."

The crowd dutifully chanted the catchphrase.

I can see why Palin would appeal to those who see Jesus in their toast...

"I don't want our country deep-sixed like Sodom and Gomorrah," said Christina Flowers, a 38-year-old evangelist. "And I hate it when people call Obama a messiah. There's only one messiah."

...But why anyone else would want a leader who sees a single ray of sunshine and thinks, "God is winking at me to turn this sky black," should have any sort of power whatsoever bypasses me completely.

This next quote you might want to read only after any fluids you're drinking or food you're eating has safely passed through your throat. Ready? OK, good. Carry on.

She pledged that she and McCain would balance the country's budget by the end of their first term.

How are they going to do that, liquidate the entire military? On second thought, I don't want to know.

Says nothing about photographers, though...

I like this collection of quotes from Palin supporters at the rally. I wish I could say these are out of context, but I also wish for world peace and look how well that turned out.

McCallister said she started the election cycle supporting Democrat Barack Obama, liking the idea of having an African-American president and breaking down the country’s racial barriers.

But as she listened Obama’s hope-filled speeches, she became disenchanted with the candidate.

“Then I realized at the end of the day, I never could grasp what he was saying,” she said.

Granted, there are some who say they don't think Barack Obama offers much substance. I disagree, but they're entitled to their opinion. But this is the first time I've heard of anyone not being able to grasp what he says. "Hope, change, huh?"

Sandy Gumm, 53, of Camdenton, fears abortions would increase if Barack Obama is elected president.

“It’s going to be wide open season on unborn babies,” she said.

"I want to promote a culture of death, where more and more babies die." - Barack Obama, at a California rally last never.

Amber Theobald, 48, of Marshfield said: “We’re worried about America. We just wish America would stop drinking Obama juice.”

What she didn't tell you is that she's a distributor for Bush Beer. Look for her latest lines, Palin Punch and Coke-Cain!

This final entry speaks for itself. But you know I'll say something about it anyway.


Many voters expressed a faith-based connection to Palin’s Christian values and willingness to express them in public.

Ruben and Rebecca Cortez drove two hours from Grove, Oklahoma.

“We came because Sarah Palin is a Deborah and Esther of our day,” said Rebecca Cortez, referencing the Deborah and Esther of the Old Testament.

Deborah, a Judge of Israel, was chosen to help defeat the enemy Canaanites.

Esther was a Jewish Queen of Persia who helped Jewish people from a plot by a malefactor.

Rebecca Cortez said Palin was chosen, in part, to defeat the modern day enemy — Obama.

Rebecca said she never knew who Palin was until the day John McCain chose her as his running mate.

As she watched Palin appear on TV with McCain at a rally in Ohio, Cortez said, “You could see the hand of God over her.”

Just so you know, the weather Friday morning was clear and sunny. For Palin's speech, clouds and rain rolled in. Today, the weather is again clear and sunny. To paraphrase Eva Amurri in Saved!, "The real miracle would've been not having an overcast day at all."

All in all, though, I'd conclude the rally was a great secession, er, success.

(Oh, and I just heard that last night, as Palin dropped the puck at a St. Louis Blues hockey game, the team's goalie slipped on her red carpet and had to skip the game due to the resulting injury. See, now that's what I call a sign.)


Michael said...

Yeah, Sarah's trouble in a hockey rink. She dropped the ceremonial puck at the Flyers' season opener, and they promptly lost their first six games. Their first win of the season? When Sarah dropped the puck at the Blues game and took out their lead goalie. If I owned a hockey team, I wouldn't let her within a mile of my barn!

Jim said...

“We’re worried about America. We just wish America would stop drinking Obama juice.”

On second thought, it's probably better if I don't comment . . .