Friday, April 25, 2008

Ladies and gentlemen, the John McCain platform

--Barack Obama has a weird name

--Barack Hussein Obama has an evil middle name

--Barack Obama used to live in scary places

--Barack Obama doesn't wear a flag pin

--Barack Obama doesn't put his hand over his heart like everyone else in that picture

--Barack Obama is a Muslim whose Christian pastor said some bad stuff

--Barack Obama is associated with some people who did some stuff once

--Barack Obama has a questionable middle name in Hussein

--Barack Obama is too charismatic to be president

--Barack Obama is too scripted to be president

--Barack Obama is too people-are-bitter to be president

--Barack Obama is a radical Marxist who wants people to have health care

--Barack Obama wants corporations to pay taxes

--Barack Obama probably wants the Ninth Ward of New Orleans rebuilt

--Barack Obama wears funny red robes and white turbans but no flag pin

--Barack Obama's middle name is scary in its Hussein-ness

--Barack Obama has seen little in his four years on Earth

--Barack Obama wants to talk to world leaders instead of bombing them

--Barack Obama attracts voters who aren't even real Americans

--Barack Obama would end the 100 Years War II

--Barack Obama wants people to do stuff for their country

--Barack Obama speaks nothing of substance

--Barack Obama speaks of an evil agenda

--Barack Obama is the candidate of those who are entranced by mere charm, eloquence, a progressive political platform and an energetic need for change

--Michelle Obama said that one sort-of-honest thing about America

--Barack Obama's middle name is HUSSEIN! Seriously!

--Oh, and Hillary's no prize either

So remember this name come November!
Barack! Hussein! Obama!

2 comments:

Cameron Sullivan said...

While I agree that those attacks will be Obama will be facing from the far right this entire election cycle, I reject the idea that John McCain will be pushing these talking points. They are definitely not his "platform".

Unlike Hillary, John McCain doesn't touch any of these issues with a 10 foot pole, rightly understand it damages his reputation more than Obama's. Although he probably approves of his surrogates making the attacks, he can't be blamed for them, just like Obama can't be blamed for his pastors comments.

John McCain is a good man, with good intentions, he truly believes his plans are whats best for America. We both know he's wrong, so lets attack him on the issues where he is sure to lose..

Ian McGibboney said...

You're right, Cameron, and I'm not arguing otherwise. The point here is that I've heard/read almost nobody actually say, "I love McCain! He's the best man to lead the country." That would be the high road indeed, but I couldn't tell how many people I've heard/read say, "I'm voting for McCain because [reactionary insult against a Democrat]."

Funny how, in all the brouhaha about how Obama and Hillary don't tackle the issues, their critics couldn't say much more about McCain's actual platform. Yes, he talks about the war and tax cuts, but so do the others. What else?

I'll bet, though, that a little of this does seep in as McCain realizes he's going to get smoked. I hope not, but you never know.