Sunday, December 30, 2007

My New Year's resolutions

1) Try out for the New Orleans Saints. They need a few good men in their defensive secondary, and I could fill in at either cornerback or free safety. Yeah, yeah, I know the NFL doesn't have open tryouts. But really, what are they afraid of? That I'll be bad?

2) Vote for Barack Obama in the Missouri primary and then, eventually, whatever Democrat wins the nomination. Because that's the only way that this country will even begin to start healing itself.

3) Further my progress toward eating more organic and home-cooked food. Which brings me to:

4) Don't go bankrupt. Making decisions to be healthy and environmentally conscientious can be expensive, even more so than eating junk and driving junk. This, of course, is a major part of why America is obese and coughing: everyday low prices! Speaking of which...

5) Stop shopping at Wal-Mart. Did that twice this year. Sorry.

6) Blog more and more furiously. With an election year coming, that shouldn't be too difficult. Also, I want to make more videos, as soon as I figure out what it is with my camera that adds 45 pounds to my face.

7) Stop being so hard on myself. Man, am I hard on myself! I could absolve myself of this problem if only I weren't such a FRUSTRATINGLY PERFECTIONIST PIECE OF CRAP!!! YOU SCUM! dROP AND GIVE ME 20! AND 20 MORE FOR THE TYPO IN THAT LAST SENTENCE!! GRARARARARAUGUGUGH!!

8) Lay the groundwork for a future New Year's resolution.

9) Turn 28. This one I think I can keep.

10) Of course, I'd be amiss without mentioning the one thing that everyone can get behind in this tumultuous time: washboard abs. Oh yeah.

2 comments:

Erika said...

Hahah. Love them.

gg said...

Good luck.