Tuesday, November 20, 2007

And the award for Most Amusingly Appalling Billboard goes to...


It sits along Missouri Highway 13, tantalizing commuters with its promise of sparkling jewels that originate primarily from virtual slave labor in Africa. Fittingly, it faces the road leading out of downtown toward the suburbs. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

"You like me! You really like me!" was White Flight's reported response to winning this honor. "HMOphobic?" said it was an honor just to be nominated.

Yes, White Flight diamond fever is catching on. While driving along a major Springfield freeway yesterday, I noticed a guy spelling out this message in cups along a pedestrian bridge:

I guess he's ready for a commitment after years of flying Solo cups. Zing!

While the creator of this masterpiece deserves originality points, I suspect the whole thing was mere showboating. Even for a proposal. For one thing, the girl's name is not mentioned. Every woman in a relationship driving down this road is going to think they're the target audience (which is particularly damaging if someone's actually expecting to see this and it's some other guy). Second, it requires expert timing - if she's driving the other way, for example, the whole thing's shot. Third, assuming the right person sees this at just the right time, how's she going to say yes? At best, she'll have to park and run about half a mile up the pedestrian bridge, all the while hoping that it isn't the wrong dude. This engagement must be earned, dammit!

Perhaps it was a publicity stunt. There were a lot of cute women crossing the bridge at the time. I noticed at least one or two stop to talk to the guy. Smooth...

(Incidentally, I apologize for the headache-inducing images. My camera wasn't cooperating and I had to enhance the hell out of the pics just to make them palatable. So to speak.)

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