Monday, July 09, 2007

Stuff that gnaws at me

--I know I'm a latecomer to this one, but I just watched some clips of Fox News' Half Hour News Hour. God, that was atrocious. Painful. And not simply because I find conservative politics repulsive - in fact, Rush Limbaugh did a decent acting job - but because the whole thing typifies the desperation that comes with fitting Jon Stewart into a square hole. Those anchors looked like someone hosted a casting call for Young Republicans, every Young Republican in the country showed up and they picked these two because they were the Youngest and Most Republican. Even the laugh track sounds like a bunch of Young Republicans laughing at whatever insensitive stuff Young Republicans laugh at. Except that they weren't laughing, otherwise the clearly visible Young Republican studio audience would not need to be augmented by a Young Republican laugh track.

(While looking for an image of these anchors via Google image search - which, by the way, I never found - I came upon an HHNH forum on, of all places! Drew Brees and Deuce McAllister should never share a page with this travesty. At least the general tone of the thread disses the show.)

I was also sad to see Larry Cedar wasting his talent on this show. Even if all he did was play straight man to a live caricature of the liberal newsman in Mallard Fillmore. Didn't Larry used to stand for education, which is the opposite of this show? Can't we put Square One back on for this guy?

I've written before about why I think conservative comedy usually fails on its face. Believe it or not, I'd really like to be proven wrong on this point. But I still have yet to see an example of (naturally authoritarian) conservatism uniting with the freewheeling, irreverent tendencies needed for satire. For the time being, I don't see it happening. It's like me hosting a hunting show - you've got to have a gun first and blinders second.

--I haven't seen Transformers yet, but I've warmed up to the idea that it exists. That's saying something, considering that I saw the original cartoon movie in the theater at age six (and cried in the car all the way there, knowing Optimus Prime was going to die). I vow to go into this incarnation with an open mind and enjoy it, even if the forced vehicle tie-ins make me want to barf. After all, Prime still has the same voice, right? Also, I've heard better-than-average reviews. Now if only Michael Bay would shut up about how proud he is to place products and placate the non-thinking majority of the moviegoing public, I could enjoy his movies more.

--"God Bless America" I can tolerate, but "America Bless God"? That's just too cute. Precious. And not in a good way. First off, it's a bad thing to say in today's sensitive religious climate. Second - and this is most important - it makes no sense! How can the blessed bless the blesser? I don't get it. Does God need blessing from people, the same people who shop at Wal-Mart and watch movies about rats who cook? Somebody explain the logistics of this to me.

--Springfield currently has a problem with thieves stealing catalytic converters. No joke! Supposedly, this car part can yield a thief up to $140 worth of platinum, though some older ones are worth as little as $5. It's like cracking into a bank's safe just to steal the handle off a safe-deposit box. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

1 comment:

Nathan said...

Except catalytic converters don't come with LoJack. They're also easier to carry, and don't come with alarms, generally.

Transformers is for awesome.
Bay has toned down his product placement (it's still there, don't get me wrong but, in his words, he "took it up the ass for product placement in The Island"), and they will go out of their way to make original cartoon series jokes.