Monday, June 04, 2007

Taking on right-wing columnists kung-fu movie at a time

This column by Cal Thomas really got me thinking...

Has that phrase ever been said before? I doubt it. Moving on...

Cal Thomas got me thinking about what a horrible socialist Hillary Clinton is and how, if elected, she will steal all of Bill Gates' money and redistribute it among illegal Mexican crackheads so they can purchase more marijuana from al-Qaida. Instead, Cal argues, we should preserve our current economic miracle of riches through hard work, pluck, merit and non-illegality.

I agree. The United States of America, copyright God, should be strictly a merit-based society. No cheating involved! If I were Hillary, I'd shut down the naysayers immediately by throwing down this doozy of a plank:

1) Money earned by the sweat of your brow is not taxed.
2) Any other sources of income, be they from inheritances, investments or from welfare, are taxed 100 percent.
3) Tax monies collected from said sources are reinvested in our schools, veterans hospitals and job offices. So that all Americans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps toward the good life.

Of course, all of this would mean that George W. Bush would be working the jobs even illegal immigrants don't do and the only buzz Paris Hilton would be getting would be in her rear-view mirror in between stays at the homeless shelter. Conversely, James Brown would have been president for at least six terms. You know, because he was the Hardest Working Man in Show Business. And the richest person in the country would be someone you've never heard of. Because they're doing all they can to get by. And probably a hardworking illegal immigrant. Funny.

When a columnist quotes Karl Marx and Adam Smith in reference to any 21st-century presidential candidate, you know they have lost perspective. I don't think I've seen a single candidate yet who actually advocated throwing out our system of government. I may be no fan of Rudy, Mitt or Tancredo; but neither am I quoting Adolf Hitler and Faith Popcorn to say why they hate America. Hillary is no socialist, in disguise or otherwise. She's fighting for a fairer society where people other than conservative cronies have a voice. If that alone makes her socialist, then call me Karl Marx.

On the other hand, maybe you're right that our current economic peril is caused by the fact that we don't teach children the Ten Commandments in social studies anymore. And that people sometimes have sex before marriage. Wasn't No Child Left Behind supposed to fix all that?

Nice Calvin Coolidge quote, by the way. Was Herbert Hoover busy?

Thomas Sowell: Liberals seduce recruits through language

So liberals are more articulate than conservatives, huh? No argument there. I guess it's pretty easy to sway people with terms as, "a living wage," "social justice," "affordable housing" and "affordable health care." Because people think it isn't too much to ask to have these extremely basic rights.

But don't forget, Tom, that the Republicans cornered all the really good ambiguities: life, liberty, freedom, patriotism, heritage, faith, prosperity, American, security, morals, values and God! For all of your talk about how liberals sway voters through clever use of rhetoric, you forgot that conservatives arrived first at the garage sale of words.

I hear plenty of hot buzzwords are still available: cakewalk, timetable, liberators, coalition, impeachment, withdrawal, link, mission and accomplished. Slightly used, some need body work.

Missouri Majority Whip Brian Nieves: English bill will save the day someday

Imagine the future: Jefferson City, Missouri, 2050. The Missouri General Assembly is now 95 percent Hispanic, under-representing the state's massive immigrant population. Everyone in the state speaks Spanish as their main language.

"We must make a move to preserve our heritage and make Spanish the official language of the state of Missouri," says Gov. Carlos Guevara, in Spanish. "We shall amend the state constitution immediately. Oh wait, what's this? We can't? English only? Shucks, never mind. I guess we'll all go home now."

That plausible situation aside, Nieves isn't saying that this is an anti-immigrant measure. Or that it is an 'English-only' measure. Or that it is a partisan proclamation. Or that it exists for any reason at all other than for Missouri voters to say, "Hey, we like English." Kind of like how some people say, "I'm white and proud of it," and somehow that isn't supposed to imply racism. I think. Can somebody help me out here?

1 comment:

Hathor said...

Say, "I'm white and I'm proud" to Pat Boone's Speedy Gonzales.