Saturday, May 05, 2007

Double the standard, double the fun!

The College Republicans hereby invites you to to our annual Cinco de Mayo blowout!

As men (and ladies) of the future, we are ever-mindful of history. And what better reason to party than to celebrate the liberation of Mexico from those filthy French? Every tequila shot and Corona we will down tonight will be done in honor of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin, whose decisive victory in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, set the future for Mexican history for the next two centuries.

And what a glorious history it's been, right, future leaders of America? Can you imagine how much worse Mexicans would be now if they had turned French too? Forget freedom fries - we'd have had to rename the restaurant Freedom Bell! Tex-Mex would have been Tex-Free! Carlos Mencia would have been Pepe Le Pew! It would have been such a tragedy. Not that it isn't now, you understand, because the United States is currently flooded with immigrants who defy our extremely fair system of legal entry.

Panel discussion: "Should Mexicans be shot at the border or merely hanged?"

Also: "Pin the Tail on the South-Heading Burro," Felipe Calderon pinata and strippers provided by the Minutemen. Fritos, Doritos, taquitos and bean dip will be served.

So come celebrate Cinco de Mayo with style and class with the Young Republicans, and preserve our Mexican-hating heritage at the same time!

College Republicans: Work with us now, or for us later...at $2 an hour weeding our gardens and cleaning our toilets. We're the best party on campus!

No comments: