Thursday, February 22, 2007

Stream of Conscience

--You know what I'm obsessed with? Anna Nicole. Not.

--On CNN right now, they're talking about how Ted Kaczynski might be plotting a major terrorist attack from the Supermax in Florence, Colorado. They say he and the other inmates could conceivably do so because the prison is underfunded and understaffed, and thus isn't always able to monitor telecommunication.

The Unabomber using up-to-date technology to mastermind another strike by the anti-technological. Wouldn't that be ironic? But hey, that's our Teddy.

--I think I'm going to write a scholarly essay on the movie "White Chicks." There's enough material there, I believe.

--A couple of days ago I met a guy who was walking his dog. The dog, who found my leg very humpable, was named "Deuce." I said "Oh, like Deuce McAllister!" Nope. Seahawks fan straight out of Washington. I'm not in Kansas anymore! (Actually, I live among Chiefs fans, so I almost AM in Kansas...but you get my point.)

--I'm seeing a lot of NutriSystem commercials lately. Most of these involve former pro-football players. The message being, of course, if you buy their program and eat only their food, you too can look like Don Shula in several months.

--Last night, I accidentally locked myself out of my office building. Because no one inside could see me, I had to wait in the smoking area until someone drove up. And thus was born my quandary: do I pretend to be smoking, or do I admit to being an idiot? So I did what any cool cat would do: immediately admitted to locking my keys in the building. Gotta protect the reputation, after all.

--Why does everyone think Britney Spears is nuts just because she shaved her head? Doesn't anybody remember who was leafing through that hair for the past few years? I'd shave it too. Maybe get some electrolysis while I was at it.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

For some reason your blogs remind me of the stuff Larry King would come up with on his radio show. Good stuff though.

Anonymous said...

Did it ever occur to anyone that Brittney may be trying to clear up a scalp disorder?