Tuesday, February 27, 2007

My train of thought at Chili’s last night

Man this table sucks I can’t see anything oh my God is this loud guy next to me talking about the Democrats damn it’s bad enough they gave me this table with a view of nothing now I have to listen to this obnoxious asshole thunder Democrats like it’s a curse word shut up shut up shut up oh it’s just my luck that a party of eight came in just before I did and now I have to wait and listen to this guy more good grief man shut up about each and every Democrat needing to be kicked out of Congress they don’t hate the troops shut up shut up shut up God why don’t you let the other guy talk once in awhile it sounds like you’re lecturing his ass let him say something he looks two percent less ignorant than you come on shut up shut up shut up who cares if you think Catholics are superior to the Mormons quit harping on the trinity shut up shut up shut up I shouldn’t have come here hi thanks for the chicken sandwich mmmmm oops looks like it was a little undercooked no it’s okay I’ll just tear that part off thanks hey dude you know if you want English to be the official language of America you should at least learn how to speak it without that Sling Blade drawl and sweet Jesus how are you able to talk that long without breathing you must have shut up at some point because you can’t possibly have gotten that obese without stopping to eat jeez I can’t even see your head behind your friend but I sure can see a wide space between your shoulders your bud looks like Carlos Mencia I’m surprised you let him sit at your table I see he’s got on an Army jacket maybe that’s the reason I have a headache from your prattling shut up shut up shut up man this would make a great blog I need to blog more thank you you’re a great muse even though you’re the biggest prick and you ruined both my meal and my faith in humanity so thank you I’ll be going good God you look like a cross between Boss Hogg and L. Ron Hubbard maybe a little Andre the Giant too I hadn’t noticed that while I was eating thank goodness for that oh nice now that you’re gone and I'm leaving a cute girl shows up jeez she just belched oh well that’s the smartest thing I’ve heard all night at least she’s embarrassed I only wish Boss Hogg had been too shut up Ian shut up shut up shut up


V'ron said...

Pretty much where my head's at when I go to Chili's.

Not that I do a lot of chain restaurants.

This post pretty much explains why.

greg p said...

Welcome to middle America.

Leigh C. said...

Uhh, welcome to the REST of America.

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff!! Let's have more.

Chrissy LeMaire said...

That sounds like pure hell. I think I would have gone into a rage.. People are /so fucking mindless/ when it comes to just accepting propaganda.

It's almost a joke that Democrats have been portrayed as troop haters. You know, supporting the troops is more than a bumper sticker. Reporters have, for years, talked about the sub-par care of wounded soldiers but did anyone on the right care? I saw it blogged on the Left..but the Right? They were too busy buying that shiny Support The Troops sticker which was made where? In China. Oh irony.

And while it used to bother me, now I can't help but laugh at how stupid people are to let hating gay people be a freakin political PLATFORM! They got suckered.

All those mindless zombies can suck it.