The 12 Months of 2006

In the first month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Alito, who is scary

In the second month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Dick shooting doves
And an old man hit by BBs

In the third month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
New shark breeds
Slobodan dead
And a woman prez in Chile

In the fourth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Bold walling words
Re: aliens
Saints go for Bush
And a partridge with the bird flu

In the fifth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
LIVE COLBERT ZINGS!
More walling words
Re: aliens
Never really stopped
And the new guard in Israel

In the sixth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Nixed al-Zarqawi
HE’S DECAYING!
Full color pics
Sharpest lens
World out for blood
Women can vote as Kuwaitis

In the seventh month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Talk of conflict brimming
Middle Eastern slaying
SAME WELL-WORN THEMES!
Castro’s ailing words
Doped-up Yank
Wins Tour de France
And did I mention World War III?

In the eighth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Hate Mel’s–a-milkin’
Anti-Semitism
Arms they’re-a-layin’
LIEBERMAN FLEES!
No cream on planes
John Mark Karr
Claims JonBenet
And one fewer planet to see

In the ninth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
“Fine laddies dating”
E-mails Mark Foley
Spinach stops a-selling
Space shuttle flying
FIVE YEARS OF FEAR!
Brees calling plays
At Superdome
Steve Irwin’s stung
And the Pope makes Muslims angry

In the tenth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Rush logic leaping
Jersey gays romancing
Amish shot in killing
Immigration dimming
Friday the 13th
CARDS WIN SERIES!
300 mil
Census counts
North Korean nukes
And a botched joke by John Kerry

In the eleventh month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
Baghdad pipe bombs piping
Saddam’s a-hanging
Iran’s a-testing
Muslim Minnesotan
Sworn in public office
Russian spy poisoned
K-FED LACKS BLING!
Rumsfeld resigns
Borat rocks
A new Congress
Brought to you by the letter D

In the twelfth month of 0-6
My news feed gave to me
War drummers numbing
Even Rumsfeld's griping
LT keeps on leaping
Britney Spears’ dancing
Not worth the milking
The swan song is brimming
For those who’re lying
HERE’S TO 0-7!
I’m calling you
To wish you
Happy Holidays
There’s a cartridge under the tree!