Saturday, September 30, 2006

You will learn nothing from reading this

A Republican won yesterday's state election for Insurance Commissioner. I'm not sure who as of yet, but I know that because there were something like five Republicans and one Libertarian (who got about 10 percent of the vote). For a brief moment yesterday, while mulling my options, I felt like a Ralph Nader fan in California in 2004. Not good.

There were also a bunch of amendments. I voted Yes, Yes, Yes, No, No, No, No, Yes, No, No, No, Yes and Yes. This will used against me in my 2036 presidential bid, when I am accused of being a flip-flopper. "He voted yes before he voted no."

Yesterday was the first time (at least that I've noticed) that Lafayette Parish has used electronic voter machines. I like them, except for that whole nonexistent-paper-trail thing. I noticed that, though a green X lines up next to your ballot choice, there's an LCD screen at about crotch level that resembles the one on handheld games of Trivial Pursuit. I was too distracted by the shiny green X's to read what it said during the voting process, but I think it was a question about Ernest Borgnine.

I also noticed that the paper ballot lies atop the buttons, much like some Atari games used cardboard cutouts to turn your gaming console into a space-shuttle control panel. But you still knew that the "engage" button was really the "Game Reset" switch. The question now is, what else are those voting-booth buttons used for?

In any event, I trust these new computer booths to accurately record my vote. I left my polling place yesterday confident, knowing that at least I had not voted for George W. Bush. Probably.

Oh, and at no point did anybody survey me. So if you hear about any polls, they're wrong.

4 comments:

Pondering American said...

I have to admit I like the old voting machines. The curtain, the big lever, hearing the clicking of the gears. It was sort of cool.

Ian McGibboney said...

I did too! They were mighty. That ding you heard when you plowed that lever back sounded like America to me. Lovely paper trail there, too.

These new machines don't even open the curtain for you. Photo booths are more climactic.

Owen said...

Mmmmm.... Ernest Bornine... I love Airwolf. Perhaps we can use the voting booths to hook up a multiplayer game of the early nineties side-scrolling Airwolf arcade game? You know, the one that was exactly like the early nineties side-scrolling Superman arcade game, only this time you were a helicopter?

Ian McGibboney said...

Sounds like Chopper Command! Or am I thinking too far back?