WASHINGTON (PIMP)--President George W. Bush announced Wednesday that the recently approved U.S./Mexico border fence will be built entirely with pieces from the former Berlin Wall.
Bush's announcement comes fresh off his approval of a bill to build a protective barrier along desolate stretches of the Mexican-American border. Congress has allocated $1.2 billion over the next year for the wall's construction, much of which has already been spent in pursuit of Berlin Wall remnants. Bush called this a justifiable expense, given the historical implications.
"The fall of the Berlin Wall, and the subsequent collapse of Communism as a world force, was a watershed moment for the free world," Bush read from a prepared speech. "It was a gripping reminder of humankind's yearning to be free, and a bold statement to the world that mere concrete and barbed wire cannot contain the human spirit.
"We hope that all Americans will be reminded of this truth when they see the massive new wall we're building to keep out Mexicans."
The wall will be built by a construction team comprising Halliburton; the Minutemen; the National Guards of Arizona, Texas and Louisiana; and one additional group referred to only as "hard-working laborers."
Bush said that pieces of the former Berlin Wall were obtained from the German government, as well as through private donations from American citizens who had purchased pieces of the wall as a collectible in the early 1990s. But despite a successful effort to amass most of the wall's remains, Bush admitted that problems still exist.
"For one thing, this isn't exactly top-notch construction material, because when Ronald Reagan demanded they 'tear down this wall,' they really did," he said. "Second, even the fully intact Berlin Wall was only 96 miles long, far shy of the 700 miles we were hoping to make our own fence. And frankly, we're worried that people will try to dance atop this wall just like they did in 1989. That's one show of freedom that needs limits.
"Still, we hope to integrate portions of the Berlin Wall into every section of our new border wall," Bush concluded. "With this undertaking, we hope to do the Germans one better."