Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Foley's sorry folly

In the years that I've been blogging, I've heard lots of people warn me that something I write could come back and bite me in the J.Lo. And I worry about that constantly. After all, this is the Internet. And the Internet is very much like your grandmother's closet, where you can find everything from a sewing machine from 1954 to your mom's first-ever piece of handwriting. It's like a netherworld where nothing ever decays, and you can find almost any memory you wish just by sweeping aside a ratty blanket. Conversely, you're just as likely to find that horrible picture from seventh grade where even your pimples had pimples.

As a professor of mine once put it, "Once you post something on the Internet, it's there forever. You can try to erase it, but you can never control it again." Which means that publications across America are probably laughing at my horribly outdated resume even as I write this. I guess I should be grateful that I never posed nude or had a painfully personal MySpace as a teenager. Or that I'm a Republican Congressman from Florida.

It must really suck to be Mark Foley right now. This man is pathetic in so many layers that you could bake a cake. Let us count the ways:

This Republican...politician...from Florida...hit on a Congressional page...who was a 16-year-old...boy...from Louisiana...through E-MAIL!

Surely I could go on and on about the particulars of this incident. But is that really necessary? This isn't about debating what the definition of "is" is; this is about the indisputable fact that a politician who was known as "The Children's Champion" asked a teenage boy if he made him horny.

Even Michael Jackson wasn't this reckless! The man appeared on TV holding the hands of young boys and has said in interviews that he shared his bed with many a young lad. But even Jacko drew the line at e-pederasty. Stuff like that will give you a bad reputation, you know.

And how about those allegations that some GOP politicians knew about similar Foley messages months ago, but kept quiet about them? Did they also do that for the kids' sake?

But let's be fair: Foley's e-mails were written in 2003, which would make the page 19 years old today. And that's legal, right? Sorry, that's my best attempt at doubt-benefit-giving. This guy pretty much sucks.

I've found e-mail threads from 1984 with a minimum of online searching; surely a Republican in the Digital Age would be a little more discreet with his perversion, especially if his entire career is based around stopping child molestation!! But now, the whole world has his words to judge his character. The proverbial closet has just been opened--in more ways than one--and never again will the skeleton fit quite right.

Now I understand why the GOP hates paper trails. After this, even Diebold-rigged voting machines may not be enough to help them win this November.


oyster said...

"I guess I should be grateful that I never posed nude or had a painfully personal MySpace as a teenager. Or that I'm a Republican Congressman from Florida."

I think WE'RE ALL grateful that you never did any of those things.

Phillip said...

What I would do if I were a House republican right now is pass retroactive legislation making pedophilia legal if the victim is now of age. They pulled it off with the torture issue, why not child abuse?

Nick said...

I got an opportunity to interview and talk with Congessman Boustany earlier today. He agreed with me that Foley and those involved in the cover-up should be severely punished, even more so than the average citizen would be.

Ian McGibboney said...

Oyster: it was quite a sacrifice, to be sure, but it's a small price to pay in my ongoing experiment to have the least odious past a human being can have.

Phillip: Yes! And in keeping in line with that other recent Florida brouhaha, Terri's Law, the law will take effect for only a few days to exonerate Foley.

Nick: Quite a bold stand Boustany's taking there.

Nick said...

I since quite a bit of sarcasim so what should he do? I'm sure you know what I'd do to Foley.

Ian McGibboney said...

Nick, read the post above this one; it was inspired by your original comment. It's not so much a knock on Boustany (though there's plenty of ammo there) as it is with the exchange I imagined between you two:

Nick: "Mark Foley has been busted for sending perverted e-mails to Ernie Alexander's underage page. How do you feel about this?"

Boustany: "That was bad. I would like to go out of my way to say that Republicans are the party of not molesting children."

It just seems like something so elementary that he shouldn't even have to say it. But he is, along with Bush, Hastert and everyone else who looks to be embarrassed by all this.

Incidentally, I know exactly what you'd do to Foley. If he followed his own rhetoric (similar to yours), he'd make for a rather interesting and graphic form of hara kiri.

Nick said...

Actally, my question went like this:

"Obviously I'm going to ask you about the most recent headline, Foley's sexual interaction with minors. In my opinion, Foley should be raked over hot coals along with those involved in the cover-up. What is your response to that?"

I then told Boustany that Foley, along with FL's actions against the revenue sharing bill and the state's major problems in punishing repeat child-sex offenders, have me so sick of Florida right now that if Jeb Bush and Hillary faced off for President, I'd vote for Hillary. He seemed a little uneasy with that statement, but that's how I feel.

My meeting with Boustany was more about wanting to meet and visit with him than just interview him, though I did want some material for my site. Therefore, I told him much was off the record, and the typical Republican and political BS was not really thrown around, at least not much. He even admitted that our foreign policy in fighting terrorists and our energy policy greatly conflict each other, as our energy policy is helping support the very terrorists who want to attack us and kill our troops, and he has brought that up with others in D.C. and wants to look at better options. I didn't think I would get that out of a Republican Congressman.

Cajun Tiger said...

It's funny how when a Repub makes a horrible mistake he is immediately forced to resign by his own party...can't say the same for the Dems now can we...Dem who slept with a 17 yr old page was only censored but remained in Congress and then given two standing ovations by the Dems...nice equal standards. As the facts come out...it seems more on the Dem side knew info on Foley and much more details...rather interesting how it came out in public the day after the FL law states his name couldn't be replaced...please don't try to imply it is the Repubs playing politics with this one b/c that is stretching it big time as we will see as even more facts come out.