Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Fall's fascist fashion forecast

Noticing that the section of my closet reserved for stupid was running dry, I took another trip to my favorite online tailor, Right Wing Stuff. This online W-Mart typically tops itself every year (so to speak), and this go-round is no exception. Here now is the official Not Right fashion report for Fall 2006!

And you know how the GOP loves its undocumented workers!

Um, didn't we already?

And Trix is what's for dinner

Unlike Christianity, which is cross!

As do anti-abortion activists with guns!

So America started it, then? I'm confused...

Yes! Let's save the country from...oh wait, that can't be right...

Remember that the next time you hear the phrase, "Compassionate Conservatism"

Expires in 2008, soon to be revoked in 2006...

Smoking, vengeance, racial slurs and misspellings...the perfect neocon tee!

And now we know whose desk we stored it under!

Diamonds not bloody enough for you?

This shirt dewrinkles itself with irony

Because your boss outsourced his call center to India!

Protect that Idaho border!

Semper Fi! Void where prohibited...

They kiss my ass and will never let go

He'll get you wasted quick!

"And I got written up for violating the dress code!"

On the back, it says "Draft me"

This is a's supposed to say, "I wiretap bleeding hearts"

We have no decency!

On the way home I stopped to pee at Right Wing Clothing, a fledgling boutique of a similar stripe. I'd post the images from RWC, but I'm all out of Alka-Seltzer (plus, the images are gigantic). Their moronic statements are in bold, and my brilliantly witty comebacks are, well, not.

--Freedom isn't go pay my tab, hippie!

--Proud member of the Reagan Generation! Born 1980-89...Not only is that chronologically incorrect, but it says more about your parents than about you. I'm a Carter baby, but that doesn't mean I was able to vote for him!

--Clinton-Guevara 2008...which even a Republican would have to take against Bush-Hitler!

--Minute Men concentrated border protection...sold in fine stores with Dole brand welfare!

--John Kerry...more positions than Paris Hilton...who by the way is the perfect Republican: a rich, vapid heiress with few concerns beyond connections and her own amusement.

--The 2nd Amendment: The Original Homeland Security...which apparently couldn't stop terrorism, so we had to establish a real Homeland Security!

Happy shirting!


BeerMan said...

I agree. How lame is all of this. Right wingers just take their distorted view of reality and then twist it to get a laugh at the expense of liberals. It is very very wrong. What kind of people would want to wear shirts like these?

I mean, at this site they just take the news of the day and have a laugh. All of their shirts are based on truth.

I think my favorite ones are:

"The only Bush I trust is my own"

"annoy a republican THINK"

"Bush lied thousands died"

"George W. Bush Doesn't Care about Black People"

"He's not my president"

"I lift my leg on Bushes"

"Impeach Bush"

"I was a gay hooker at the White House and all I got was this lousy press pass"

"I'm not part of the redneck agenda"

"Somewhere in Texas a village is missing an idiot"

etc etc etc

Face it Ian, leftists make political t-shirts too. They are not really any better or worse than right wing shirts. They to tend to contain more lies, but at the end of the day that is what leftists do best.

Pops said...

The biggest problem I have is with the "The only Bush I trust is my own" shirt. I mean come on, women acknowledging that they have vaginas. Can't you see why a terrorist would want to destroy us?

Ian McGibboney said...

Well, Beer, I suppose you could call this two sides of the same coin. Of course, the shirts you cite are all anti-Bush, or otherwise relating to specific events. For these shirts to be at the same level as the right-wing ones, they have to say things like these:

--"Nuke Texas!"
--"Christians like to kill people"
--"Make like Cheney...shoot a conservative in the face"
--"The 1st Amendment...the original Fox News"

Okay, so these aren't that clever. I guess it's impossible to equate the level of smug hatred that comes from the right. No wonder I rarely see these shirts worn, even in Louisiana.

Hillary For President said...

It so sad how what FAT CAT NEOCONS talk ALOT abut FREEDOM, etc what they relly our is full off hate and intolerant.

Librails licke us is defend america form neo cons, etc.

With hillary clinton for president what will be User in a new period of love and joy.

frist think she will do is make those right wing t shirts illegal as anti american value.

you will see.

Hegemon said...

Actually Paris Hilton is the perfect liberal Democrat, obsessed with perverse forms of sex and has an aversion to real work.

Nick said...

When ya'll start arguing about with political party Paris Hilton best represents, it's time to move to a different subject.

Ian McGibboney said...

I agree, Nick. For all any of us know, she can't even spell "politics." Still, I've never heard anyone try to argue that she's a perfect liberal Democrat. Extreme (and unearned) wealth and a spotty sexual history are actually very Bushian. (The sexual thing, admittedly, is bipartisan.)

Anonymous said...

Actually it looks spelled right to me...
You seem a little jealous. How old are you? 14? Why don't you blog on this site:

Tell me 'bout all the love found there...let me know when your beard starts coming in - OK?

Ian McGibboney said...

Wow...somebody feels insecure, apparently.